Our baby Fraya is five months old today and while this feels like an unexpected jab in the gut, more than ever I’m embracing the truth that time moves steadily and we have to maximize our experiences. I’ve reflected on the last few months and put together a list of 5 lessons that life with Fraya has taught/reminded me of so far.
1.) Everything is a phase, and whatever seems to be missing in one phase somehow shows up in the next phase, so trust the process.
- In the last five months I have gone from doing everything one handed with little Fraya tucked in one hip to now embracing a higher level of flexibility, which I could not have predicted. I am treasuring Fraya’s increased independence that now allows me finish a meal in one seating. We tend to be preoccupied with what is lacking in our present circumstances only to gradually see these desires manifest as we progress through life. As they say, “you can have it all but you may not have it all once”.
2.) Focus and be engaged in what you’re doing otherwise you may forget something important.
- Let me attest that mommy brain is real people and apparently there is some research that shows decreased gray matter up to two years after having a baby. I could write a multi volume book on all the blunders I’ve committed (and I will definitely do a blog post on this sometime soon) due to my absent mindedness. And in all honesty I do confess that these occurrences usually coincided with trying to do too much at once. Sometimes when we spread our focus over too many priorities at once, it may distract us from the real importance of what we wish to accomplish.
3.) You have more fun when you don’t have your guard up.
- There’s nothing like having a baby to force you to shed your serious shell. So much of our interactions with Fraya requires stepping out of our of adult reservations, from reading Dr. Seuss with a full animated voice to making friends with perfect strangers smitten with her sweetness. When we do not have our guards up, we’ve let go of preconceived assumptions and are able to embrace experiences for what they really are.
4.) If you spend too much time on shit, you may end up with more shit.
- I think the relevance of this statement when changing soiled diapers is pretty obvious. But extrapolating from this point, all of life is energy, physical, emotional, mental etc., and how we allocate your energy impacts our outlook and choices, which indirectly corresponds with the content of our lives.
5.) You don’t really need everything you want!
- Like eight hours of sleep, rather you amaze yourself when you are getting by with less that four and thank goodness for the reassurance in lesson number 1 because I do not think we were meant to endure sleep deprivation forever.On a broader note, I believe that an important component of sustaining joy is having the foresight to prioritize the things that are truly essential to our happiness in the first place.
Xo Ini A.
“Steeping joy, brewed with all that life has to offer”
Professional feature image by Janet Cruz Photography, Edmonton, AB.