It was insightful to read how some of you believed that embracing greater self love would impact your life. For example, you said
Implementing more self love would lead to:
— be happier and at peace with myself
–have the energy to sustain myself for the day and be healthier to be around others.
–Would feel free and excited about life
–Build deeper connections with myself and others; love wholeheartedly without looking for judgement
Not implementing self love choices may cause:
–Not a healthy person to maintain a relationship with.
–overwhelmed and resentful, anger
–stagnant looking for an external escape, frustrated, ashamed, no purpose
Seeing your answers is a great reminder of the power we have in shaping our lives through greater self love, which motivated me to share a poll of my Facebook page yesterday asking “is it possible to love ourselves without being ourselves” and so far 100% of you have said no. I absolutely agree with that impression and it suggests that enhancing our self love entails becoming more connected to our true essence, whereby for a long time, this seemed like a faint part of myself that I felt buried deep beneath my efforts to put one foot in front of another. Being on maternity leave last year helped to expand my self awareness because I was spending a greater amount of time alone by myself than ever before in my adult life. I subsequently discovered that being in our own company heightens our awareness of the relationship that we are having with ourselves and gives us the impetus to rediscover how to cultivate our own happiness, which awakens us to greater purpose in ourselves.
While, I historically preferred to be alone if given the choice, enjoying myself was an entirely different endeavor. I typically used my time alone to “catch up” on my to do list like, clean the house, do laundry, check emails, I was always getting something done so I wasn’t truly just trying to enjoy myself. On my birthday over a year ago during my maternity leave, I took myself out for coffee and just decided to sit and be “with” myself and I believe this is when I was forced to take inventory of self love status. I had to decide how to sustain my own excitement instead of feeling bored or distracted, I was more aware of my unpleasant thoughts and the need to rebuttal them in order to fulfill my mandate of fostering more happiness within myself to nurture the same in my children. When we find joy in our own company then we become more connected to our own essence and subsequently bring this contentment into our interactions and relationships with others.
Do you typically ENJOY YOURSELF?
1.) I invite you to spend an hour alone with yourself this week and every week over the next 18. Schedule it into your calendar (perhaps including what you plan to do) so that you make it a date with yourself. More so I encourage you to be intentional with making this time about ENJOYING yourself.
–P.S: I am rarely able to allot an hour to myself, so invite you to split this up over 2-3 occasions during the week to make it practical.
I completely understand if you cannot think of ways to enjoy yourself YET, because I recall when the thought of ‘personal enjoyment” was a foreign concept. Even as I would engage in leisurely activities, I would have had a hard time classifying them as true enjoyment. I still encourage to make this a priority because finding passion in our lives allows us to live more purposefully, bringing more meaning and fulfillment to how we relate to ourselves. Choosing to embrace ME TIME played a major role in creating this page, which then opened up a greater sense of purpose and passion for personal development and coaching. What would you consider your passion?
I personally know how difficult it was to answer this question in the past, I was good at many things but didn’t necessary find genuine joy in them. On the other hand the idea of certain pursuits excited me but I couldn’t feel passionate about them because I wasn’t good at them. Remember the goal is to enjoy yourself and the good news is that once upon a time we all did things just for the joy of it.
Here are traditional passion guiding question to assist you with completing exercise #2:
What were you doing when you lost track of time? If you had all the money in the world, what would you do? What does your perfect day look like?What did you enjoy doing as a child? What could you “enjoy” for hours without watching the clock? What excites you? What makes you feel creative? When do you feel the most joy for no reason? What makes you feel more like yourself? What makes you feel the most present in the moment?
I really like a ‘passion timeline’ activity that a lady who follow on Instagram @enlightcounselling used in her challenge, where you simply write out a timeline during certain phases of your life to help with answering the passion guiding questions (0-9 years;10-19 years;20-29 and so forth)
2.) A.) As you reflect on the various stages of your life timeline, list your answers to those passion guiding questions considering what you enjoyed during those stages of your life.
B.) What do you think is the common theme among the activities in your timeline?
N.B:We tend to approach curiosity as as contrived ideal, but I believe that it’s a seamless aspect of our emotional nature. I am going to suggest that you already curious about anything that frustrates or makes you unhappy about yourself or life. Your curiosity to enhance it is manifested in your discontent. However, possessing a genuine desire to create ‘more’ happiness in this aspect of your life is the key to fostering the passion necessary to recognize how to use your own gifts to transform those challenges. Thus passion is the application of self love to our problems and challenges, we must deeply value our joy to shift our challenges into passion. Reflect on how you are actually abundant in any ideal that you may believe you are lacking in. As women we often struggle with the desire for perfection and had I only focused on the areas where I did indeed feel quite perfect if I may say so myself, I would have found my passion much sooner. For example, a person may believe that they are not smart but without a doubt they are smarter in some aspect of life than most people, dig deep and have fun exploring your passion.
3.) Can you think of a current activity in your life that would fit this theme? Consider using some of your ME TIME this week to do it?
There have been many times in my life when I was felt excited about initiating a new activity, like joining competitive adult dancing or community theater but wouldn’t follow through because I it didn’t feel responsible spending money on something like that for no reason. I really encourage not to talk yourself out of incorporating some passion into your life because being intentional with our joy is part of feeling more alive.
I look forward to hearing and sharing the ideas you guys come up with and truly ENJOY YOURSELF today.