What was your impression of the passion exercise? How do you feel about spending time with yourself? I won’t lie, there was a time when the idea of enjoying my own company would have felt like being on a blind date, where I wouldn’t have known exactly what to do with myself. I can picture how awkward and restless I would have felt in my feeble attempt to stay connected and present with myself. I imagine that the difficulty I experienced with enjoying myself related to a subconscious insecurity about what I truly had to offer myself. Ultimately, such uncertainty also underscored the magnitude of the general value that I perceived I had to offer in life. Nowadays, I believe that we derive our sense of value from how we treat ourselves, which forms the basis for the genuine value that we can bring to others without any expectations.
1.) What comes to mind from reading the following quote: “The enemy of love is never outside, it’s not a man or a woman, it’s what we lack in ourselves”—Anais Nin
—As I believe that we are naturally complete, I think it relates to what we perceive as lacking in ourselves from being disconnected from the aspect of our essence that is necessary to fulfill that need. Self love entail becoming clear about what we presumed as lacking within ourselves and a having vested curiosity in how to cultivate it. On Monday, I shared that one of my self love aims is to eliminate distractions, which led to subsequently pondering the emotion that I actually wanted to feel and the answer was “accomplished”. It forced me to acknowledge that “striving” to feel accomplished by running through a list of tasks leads to losing focus in each moment with my mind continuously contemplating something else to do. I realize that not being present in each moment reduces my efficacy in whatever I am doing. Thus the issue is less about balancing my priorities because it’s straying my mind that propels the sense of distraction. I became interested in how to create the feeling of “accomplishment” in each moment in order to stay in the joy of gratitude instead of mentally wondering and losing focus. Being of significance or value aka service was the ideal that I subsequently associated with my desired sense of accomplishment. Turns out that the key to remaining focused entails adopting an attitude of service in each moment, whereby this awareness alone is yielding profound results. Tonight while reading with our toddler just, I was able to interrupt myself from striving to run away into the next moment of anticipating her bed time. I paused and asked myself how can I be of service right now and decided to play crawling tag with her, hence embodying my passionate essence in each moment will support my desire to remain more determined with my priorities. The contentment of hearing the sound of her full belly laughs overflowed my cup in that moment, training my mind to stay in the moment. I drew on that sense satisfaction to remain more focused while writing this post a couple hours later.
2.)Borrowing from the wisdom of Anais Nin’s, connect deeply to yourself and identify what it is that you wish to feel more of to experience greater fulfillment?
–it’s quite okay to ponder this question for while but it’s good to be intentional with your reflection. It would make an excellent exercise during your ME time date.
B.) What are 2 simple practical actions that you can take every day to generate that feeling? Consider the usefulness of creating some type of a daily routine or ritual that incorporates these into your lifestyle.
c.) Identify 2 lifestyle choices that currently lead to feeling the opposite sentiment as your desired emotional state? Consider the usefulness of decreasing these habits in your day as a means to optimize the way that you want to feel.
Our willingness to to generate our desired emotional currency (of fulfillment) has the effect of alleviating our dependency on other non-self loving measures. I have been able to eliminate candy from diet for the last three weeks (longest period in my life so far ) because I was subconsciously using it to ground me during my flight of ideas moments.
3.) Reflect on what additional resources would support you in fulfilling your desired emotional state.
–I have recently become very interested in meditation and mindfulness as a means of further cultivating mental concentration and focus. When we have some options in our tool belt then it’s becomes easier to readily utilize these resources when we feel drained or empty. Do you need to start journalling, get a book, take a course, positive daily affirmations, etc.
As we fill our own cup with joy, we connect to the most abundant aspects of ourselves and rediscover the immense value that is always awaiting inside of us. We love ourselves through how we recognize and meet our needs, much like we would expect from others.
I hope you seize many moments to fill your cup with love today.