It’s day 5 and I am making more self love promises to myself and hope you are as well, remembering that more than anything you deserve to be happy by giving your best self to yourself. As you are rekindling passion, filling your cup, what if you could choose to stay in the essence of your truest self for yourself. What would it be like to always feel all the love that we have inside towards ourselves instead feeling derailed by external conditions. I think this is the deepest kind of self love, where we respond mindfully to look out for true selves when our ego is wounded. What relief would come from being able to rely on the wisdom of that wiser part of ourselves when circumstance make us feel unsafe in showing our true self.
Being this considerate and mindful with ourselves is an integral foundation of self love because it liberates us from thinking that we are not enough. I use to wish that I didn’t hang myself for not always keeping it together when I was at the end of my rope with my child. I had become resigned to hopelessly regretting the things that I cannot change. How many of us repeatedly hope that we hadn’t succumbed to pushing back harder when others push our buttons. For me these are the moments when I would feel the most alone within myself and desperately cling to someone else to put me back together. But I’ve come to feel more connected to that beautiful aspect of my essence when I began observing my emotions and thoughts during my discontent instead of reacting. I am often laughing on the inside during some of my most tested moments because it feels as though I’m either getting a pep talk or tough love from my higher self as it restrains me from clouded judgement. And not surprisingly, I learn the most about myself during the moments when I monitor my emotions instead of being guided by it.
1.) Today try and just observe the situations that upset you without reacting from that emotion. (You may also choose to write them down in this section at a later time)
–Notice how these emotions manifest up in your body; how does anger, anxiety, impatience, etc feel in your body. Where do you feel the tension? How does that sensation make you feel? What action would increase or decrease this sensation in your body? Which response feels like an act of self love?
Being cut off in traffic, unreciprocated kindness, accidentally saying the wrong thing to someone, you name it there are endless ways to be taken off course in a given day. Being emotionally reactive unknowingly leads to defining ourselves by our emotions, which diminishes our overall trust in our ability to bounce back from challenges. Rather pausing and observing the sensations from our emotions and mindfully deciding if we want to heighten or lessen them through our response brings clarity about who we truly are.
2.) Shift your focus from what is lacking or emotionally threatening in the circumstance and consider what lesson it has to offer you for greater self love. What is it teaching you about loving yourself?
–9/10 times if a situation requires me to be more patient, kind or understanding it’s because I was already withholding that very same quality from myself in the moments prior to that incident. Thus the universe was kindly offering me an opportunity to fuel up on more love for myself.
Monitoring our emotions builds self awareness, which increases our sense of worth. Reacting to our every emotion without a mindful pause leads to identifying ourselves with the fleeting sensation of our feelings, diminishing our self esteem.
3.) One of my many gratitude practices entails checking in with myself mid day to mentally acknowledge 2 things that I’m proud of so far in that day . Create an alarm or event in your calendar that will prompt you to check with yourself and recall 2 moments that you’re proud of.
–as simple as this practice seem, it has given me an implicit incentive to show up as my most true essence to collect the very moments that will make the list of gratitude.
By now, it’s becoming obvious that self love is a very intentional act and does not occur without effort. It alluded me for many years because I imagined that I would just wake up and magically love myself from “doing” something worthy. I’ve shared it before that my journey to self acceptance actually began the moment I chose not rise and fall with every emotion because it’s through mindful action that I changed my subconcious opinion of myself. Self monitoring is an ongoing journey, it takes tremendous self love, so I acknowledge you embracing this part of the jouney.