Request a meeting with your higher self, and listen fully.

I hope that 2018 is the year that we begin to pay more attention to that part of us, which is bold enough to keep whispering those “supposedly impossible” desires into our hearts. What does it know that we haven’t yet accepted about ourselves? I ignored that nagging, optimistic whisper for most of my life, choosing instead to follow the noise of what “I should do”. Until one day, I showed up as a disgruntled CEO of my life, looking at the meager returns of joy that my expectations were bringing in. Not one doubtful thought or excuse had anything uplifting to show for itself and I couldn’t help but feel ashamed about permitting  that mindset to be in charge of my life for so long. It was time to pay closer attention to that persistent quiet voice of inner confidence that kept whispering of a better way of being. I think that we all have that part of us that keeps our desires alive against the will of our doubts. Have you considered that this part of us may already have an elaborate plan to fulfill those ideals if we allowed it? We are so conditioned to give more attention to the inner dialogue of doubt that is quick to question the likelihood of successfully achieving the growth that our soul yearns to experience. Yet, our doubt(s) cannot see the end of time, so it can never truly present meaningful proof as to why you shouldn’t follow your heart. So why shouldn’t we hear out this dreamer buried deep inside of all of us.  This is your higher self that is receiving that inspiration for you to try one more time to get healthy, to leave that unfulfilling relationship, share your gifts with the world, etc. Yes, you know that part of you that is brazen enough to create torn in your heart by keeping that one wish alive in your soul. Clearly, it believes in us and I beg of you to finally give it a chance to make it’s case as to why it’s so unwilling to abandon your heart’s desire. See if it’s possible that it is more persuasive and qualified to run your life that the underperforming critic you may have been rubbing shoulders with.

So just for once, call upon your higher self to boast freely as to why it continues to urge you to seek more fulfillment in life. Does it know that you are really good at researching and could learn all that you need to get started and this knowledge would spark something unstoppable inside of you. Maybe, it knows that you’re really good at problem solving and you would be relentless in finding solutions to whatever hurdles come up if you kept your higher self in charge. Maybe it knows that you are great at focusing on one thing at a time and would eventually become an expert in your craft. Perhaps, it knows that the freedom that you would feel from shifting into a new vision would enhance your confidence and empower you to add greater purpose and impact to your life. I encourage you to keep all your questions until the end and do not interrupt your higher self as it paints you a picture of your true unrealized potential. Rather, stand back and slowly get excited for its conviction and as you get carried away in these new details, allow that smirk on your face to grow. It will be hard not to feel impressed by this wild dreamer that is daring to bring remarkable fulfillment, abundance and peace into your life. Keep in mind that it will never be silent if you don’t give it the shot it’s been waiting for. Follow the signs in your body, if you feel lighter and more alive by the end of this imagining then don’t throw that hope away but make a deal to  be guided by your higher self going forward. Trust it’s desperate plea that you won’t regret promoting her or him to be in charge as it assures that it will not let your down. You see even in your skepticism, you cannot help but feel fired up by its enthusiasm and passion.

Many of us aren’t living the lives that we desire because we haven’t fully seen the vision that our potential has in store. We have given doubt free reign and allowed it to run the show in our lives with little to no returns. Isn’t it time to hear what our higher self has to say and give it an honest chance to implement some changes. What if it absolutely could breathe new life into our unfulfilling circumstances as it promises. I am not saying the you have to change your life in one swoop but you have a fully confident and competent part of you that keeps urging you to experience something better. Begin by just going within and calling a meeting with your higher self and then get behind its vision. Allow yourself to imagine that perhaps you do already have everything you need to get started and remain guided by your higher self to keep moving forward in living the life you were born to create.

 

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Look closer within in 2018.

I’m leaving 2017 behind with a renewed inspiration that we simply need to “look closer within” to find the answers or purpose that we seek. But one will not find new details with the same conditioned eyes and mind that can no longer reveal a novel truth about who we are. We must think outside the box of expectations of how we insist that we ought to be. My friends there’s nothing new to see, feel or be within the confines of the labels that keep us seeking worth in external measures. Rather, let’s look closer at the unexpressed part of ourselves because this is where our human creativity and purpose remains unfulfilled. It’s in this place where we seldom look that our gifts lay neglected in the forgotten aspects of our being.

Be seen.

What do you feel that others do not know about how you experience life? This is not simply an incident or a specific experience but which part of your essence remains unknown to many? Now, consider how does the feeling that swells in your heart from being this unseen version of yourself exit your body and connect to others so your soul can feel fully seen and understood? How do you express or satisfy the emotions that arise from being connected to this “unseen” part of yourself. This my friends is the gift that makes you feel alive and most like yourself. It’s the missing and distant essence that we can feel deep within but cannot seem to experience within the box of expectations that we’ve cocooned ourselves in. It’s often difficult to fathom that the self expression that emanates from this version of ourselves are “gifts” since we don’t spend enough time admiring this aspect of ourselves. These gifts seems too simple, so we may keep searching far and wide to become or do something greater to make us feel that we matter. We’ve forgotten that connecting to the hearts of others is how we leave our impact on the world. Perhaps we do not believe that world will be changed by the human story that comes from the creative application of our “unseen” self. But this is the very expression that also allows others who feel as we do to also feel seen. All of humanity is longing to be seen for who they are but many of us unintentionally lose ourselves as cater to how we long to be seen through the eyes of others (parents, teachers, peers, coaches). But this I know for sure, that we do not discover true joy and purpose until we embrace and fulfill the expression of our “unseen” self. We may climb mountains and accumulate every earthly accolade but one will not feel complete without purposefully expressing their authentic self.

Keep it simple: make it real.

I believe that as we move into the new year, the most meaningful task for many of us is to foremost identify this unseen part of ourselves and the mode of self expression that best emotes this aspect of our essence. It will require surrendering to the old ideas about ourselves but be assured that our vision becomes clearer when we reconnect with our missing part(s). I believe that incorporating our unique self expression into our passions, pursuits and daily living enables us to discover greater creative potential for abundance and fulfillment. For myself, what is often unknown about me is the emotional intensify in which I experience life, in other words ‘I think in emotions’. Stuttering severely as a child, I imagine that I became very aware and connected to my feelings because I couldn’t verbally express them as I wanted to. I cradled my emotions with curiosity and would eventually learn that unless others were hiding their feelings, most people didn’t seem to feel in the same magnitude as I did. The longer I sat with my feelings, the easier it was to string them into words that expressed the crispness of my joy, sadness or anger. Often,I cannot get the words out fast enough when I’m steeped in my emotions and this form of emotional writing or poetry is actually my truest connection to myself. Yet, I’ve not been indulging in this type of writing because I too was searching too far and wide to fulfill my passion for personal transformation and growth. But I believe that human transformation grows from how well we can invite others to feel our desired emotional objective. This requires us to utilize the gift of that creative self expression, which effortlessly captures how we experience life.

In 2018, I will be incorporating this aspect of my authenticity in an exciting new personal development project. It seems scarier that anything that I’ve done, which is why I know that it’s the path I must embrace. Friends, follow the lightness in your heart, it’s your soul feeling free to be its unlimited self. Stop complicating the process, the answers would not be hidden in a place where we could not find them.  First, we must become deeply connected to the feeling that you wish to impart on others through our creative efforts. Unsurprisingly, it’s the unique gifts of our “unseen” self that will enable you to convey this emotion to others. Atlas, our impact is created through the emotional human connection with others that our unique self expression fosters. Being yourself is not difficult so keep it simple and embrace all that you are. The is the beginning point from which your endless possibilities grows.

 

We can’t cheat love.

While contemplating the spiritual oneness of love, I always ponder the Divine source of love, God is incredibly ingenious and marvelous in ensuring that we can’t cheat the essence of love. We have to choose to embody love unconditionally in our choices to subsequently sustain the emotional qualities that enable us to love ourselves unconditionally. If a person selectively embodies kindness in their actions, then they will only be kind to themselves some of the time. And it is the relationship that we are having with ourselves that shapes our experience of happiness or suffering. We must love ourselves unconditionally to embrace our gifts and remain connected to our soul’s Divine intelligence for fulfilling our highest expression of purpose and abundance. Therefore, it’s impossible to cheat the divine oneness of love, which means we cannot be happy with ourselves  without embodying love unconditionally in our choices. Without embodying love unconditionally, we do not nurture sufficient love for ourselves and remain in emotional suffering and self scarcity. I dare to imagine that our Creator hoped that all would recognize the perfect nature of love and use it to their personal advantage and the universal benefit would be sustained peace in the world. Nothing could be further from the truth as I still ponder why it took me until just last year to make the connection that all my prior discontented reactions undermined nurturing the qualities necessary to accept and love myself. Rather, diminished self love left me with a desperation for a love that was already mine and I simply needed to connect to through my choices. Like many, I wasn’t too concerned about my personal void of self love because I was determined to “find love” out there or accomplish something that would cure my internal sense of unworthiness.

There’s only one love.

It’s unfortunate that our innate nature of love becomes interrupted with the social conditioning that love is something that we need to get, must be given to us or can be lost. I believe that this is the reason why we become conditional with sharing love in the presumably “non important” interactions and subsequently lack the qualities to love ourselves and trust our boundaries in other relationships. We are ultimately only in a relationship with ourselves and  every choice or reaction either enhances or diminishes the traits we need to remain in a loving relationship within ourselves. The moment of awakening is recognizing that our actions and reactions are always geared at us. We are either fighting (resisting) or loving only ourselves no matter who our choices are directed at. Our choices only impact others depending on how they choose to respond within themselves, with love or ego. Our ego may fool us to believe that we doing, proving, showing, being superior or even kind to others but there is no “other”, because our God is a genius and there’s only one love. Our accomplishments or romantic relationships will never make us happier if our lifestyle choices and actions do not enhance our capacity to love ourselves.

Love= Self Abundance.

Love is free! It is always ours and will never run out as long as we remain connected to it through our choices. But embodying the qualities of love selectively or conditionally in our interactions, thoughts and choices diminishes our ability to love ourselves and keeps us unhappy, fearful with little direction in life. Imagine for an example that a person gave someone a gift because they felt that the friend would enjoy it, would many of us expect the same gift back in return to be happy? Probably not, rather we’d likely be puzzled if they insisted on doing so as we could have bought it for ourselves if we so desired. Well love is the most valuable currency in the world and the same principle applies. When we share compassion, kindness, etc freely then we remain connected to our innate loving nature towards ourselves. This offers us the autonomy of not needing others to love us to be happy, giving us the confidence and independence to make choices that uphold our well-being and growth. But when we become conditional with love, then we will never have enough for ourselves and are desperately seeking it from others.

Choose love, because we can’t cheat our Creator’s perfect system of oneness. We must abandon all affinity to fear in order to love ourselves and awaken to the wisdom of our greatness. We are in the likeness of God’s love, therefore we cannot ‘presumably’ fear God because we will fear ourselves. If we fear ourselves then we do not trust ourselves and will fear everyone else. And it is the subconscious fear of others that deters much of humanity from growing into our potential. We must choose to be an embodiment of God’s love because this is our true nature and when we stop being true to ourselves, we suffer and remain unhappy.

Words of Wisdom to My Younger Self: This is What It Took To Become Authentic.

When you finally embrace your authentic self, you end up wishing that you would have begun the search much sooner. The desire to gain validation and my prior addiction to perfection distracted me from seeking my highest self and exploring more of my potential. Therefore, the distance to self rediscovery gets shorter once we begin putting ourselves first and realize that making others proud or happy is not more important than our own well being. While it’s true that everything happens in its own good time and we cannot force personal growth, life only gets shorter with time and we unfortunately spend too much energy trying to find ourselves in the wrong places. Sometimes, we miss growing into our gifts all together because of our subconscious self sabotaging habits. Having the clarity of my hindsight, I have some advice that I would give to my younger self about what it took to grow into the truest version of me. And for anyone else who has dared to ask themselves that million-dollar question of “who am I”, these are my words of wisdom on how to cultivate your most empowered self and authenticity.

Be truthful with yourself. 

I spent my twenties and half my thirties frequently making choices that did not honor the truth within my heart because I wanted approval at all costs. I entered and stayed in relationships that I shouldn’t have, said yes to opportunities that didn’t feel right and outright adopted a demeanor of fibbing to avoid unfavorable reactions or opinions. I assumed that the validation I would gain from the experiences or relationships in question would offset my internal discord. But I was wrong, every single time; living in a lie with myself to appease others has never made me happier in the long run. Rather choices that contradict our truth undermine our own opinion of ourselves, diminishes our self esteem and leads to not trusting our own judgement. The more difficult it is to make a decision that upholds our internal truth then the more esteem and trust that we will gain or lose in ourselves, depending on how we proceed. Living honestly with yourself builds up the confidence and belief in yourself to live your dreams.

Stop waiting.

You are already complete and good enough, so stop waiting for any experience or milestone to determine your happiness. I waited for education, jobs, relationships to feel worthy but until we stop defining ourselves by external expectations, we will waste our whole lives waiting for joy to happen to us. Pursuing our goals from a mindset of inadequacy often leads to playing safe or choosing other people’s version of success. We must already love and accept ourselves unconditionally in order to have the passion and tenacity to pursue our own unique gifts, which may not always be supported or understood by others. The very expectations that you are waiting for either circumstances or others to meet creates your false perception of not already being enough. Self acceptance frees us from the opinions of others, empowering us to follow our hearts and pursue our most authentic desires. Get up and do the things you’re putting off until you lose weight, have more money, have a spouse, a family because nothing completes our happiness if we are not happy now.

Ask for what you want.

The true mark of our independence is the ability to ask for what we want. My naivete associated vocalizing my true intentions as being needy or pushy but when I did not articulate my desires in relationships, friendships or other settings, I became resentful or emotionally dependent. Giving ourselves permission to ask for what we want enables us to take responsibility for our lives, instead of simply expecting others to anticipate our needs. When we do not speak up for what we need, our inherent entitlement diminishes our capacity to nurture a more open and genuine connection with others. You must speak up for what you desire, to receive what you deserve.

Explore your passion.

We begin adulthood determined to make our mark in life but I soon learned that after you leave academia and settle into professional role, life smaller and less fulfilling if you don’t allot energy into a passion or an endeavor for your own enjoyment. Expand your creative horizon if you don’t want to end up like those folks who are not as content in the same careers that they too once pursued with all of their young potential. Exploring our passion heightens our confidence and often expands our personal growth by providing the impetus for us to evolve outside of our comfort zones. When I did not actively engage in my passion for writing and sharing my ideas, I was caught in a limbo of restlessness and boredom. Pursuing our creative interest often requires us to be kind to ourselves, enhancing our self acceptance and sense of wholeness.

Be a champion of others.

We must genuinely celebrate and build others up to personally feel empowered to step out in pursuit of our own dreams. The constant need to be perfect and validated in my younger years led to not fully showing up for others but often meeting them with my judgmental ego. My critique of people’s mistakes or criticism of their imperfect choices contributed to my own reluctance to take risks and put myself out there. When we do not celebrate others, we internalize that it’s not socially safe to be bold and become afraid of also being judged and not supported. We discover our own strengths and bolster our character as we build others up and bring out the best in them. Our genuine encouragement of others diminishes the tendency for comparison, which reinforces our own awareness of also being enough. What we embrace in others becomes a mirror for what we cherish in ourselves and vice versa.

Be more vulnerable.

Without a doubt, vulnerability is the only means to self awareness, growth and experiencing true love. Yet, I avoided it for years because I did not know how to experience the pain of confronting my emotional vulnerability or shame. I would mentally jab at my weaknesses or failures with a ten-yard stick and judge myself through the perceptions of others. Experiencing my difficulties with my mind instead of my heart made me my own worse enemy and I would become less authentic as I tried harder to prove my worth. Now, I delve into my vulnerability heart first, showing myself the self compassion necessary to accept myself as worthy amidst my defeat and disappointment. Our willingness to be vulnerable with ourselves helps us to shed limiting beliefs, make decisions with clarity and become more accepting and connected to others.

Becoming the best version of ourselves is primarily a process of letting go of the conditioned expectations that diminish our authenticity. However, what I had to do more of, was to love. Mindfully choosing kindness and compassion in all my interactions reconnected me to my innate loving nature towards myself.

NI ANANA IS AN ASPIRING LIFE AND SELF DEVELOPMENT COACH IN EDMONTON, AB. LIKE STEEPING JOY ON FACEBOOK  FOR MORE SELF DEVELOPMENT INSIGHTS.

 

Stop Waiting For Mr. Or Mrs. Right

Dating in 2017 is an endless waiting game, with popular relationships advise on social media continuously cautioning us about the type of person that every girl or guy should wait for. But what exactly are you waiting for? Dig deeper than the list of wonderful qualities that you desire in an ideal mate and ponder why you value those traits as much as you do in the first place. In the past, I was basically waiting to stumble upon someone who would compensate for my own shortcomings or inadequacies and love me more than I loved myself. If this also sounds like your current dating approach then I encourage to stop wasting your precious time and stop waiting for your perfect mate because the only factor that determines who attract is you and how much you love yourself. A better use of your waiting period is healing the cause of your internal unworthiness so that you can develop better boundaries and make empowered decisions that will prevent choosing partners from a mindset of desperation and neediness.

Stay Single Until You Love Yourself.

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The last dating article you read may have just told you to stay single until you meet someone who doesn’t make you doubt yourself or something along those lines. But here’s the catch, if you doubt yourself then you will forever continue to chose partner that cannot offer you security. It’s irrelevant if a prospective lover possesses the right or wrong qualities because you are willingly choosing your partners. Therefore, you ought to focus more on what is guiding your choices and less on the factor that you cannot control, which is the other person. If we dare to be completely honest with ourselves, then admittedly what we desire in a partner often resembles how we are not treating ourselves. When we do not genuinely love and value ourselves then we will typically choose partners based on how “we think they will make us feel” more worthy or desirable and become completely blind to who they are as people. I refer to this as the starving for self love syndrome, its comparable to missing a meal during a diet and your subsequent food choices become driven purely by your deprivation and hunger instead of what is beneficial and nutritious. In contrast, when we authentically embody the expectations that we desire from a spouse towards ourselves then we longer need anything from a partner to feel worthy and take responsibility for our own happiness within our unions. This allows us to see a relationship as a platform for personal growth and learning, which makes it easier to walk away from toxic relationships that no longer promote our wellbeing.

Your Expectations Are For You.

I will take a stab at the fact that if you have a long list of expectations that you desire from a potential partner then you may still be harbouring significant emotional hurt and pain that you must heal to truly love yourself. That’s because our expectations are merely the external band aids for long standing wounds of how we feel unworthy. If you wrestle with insecurity then you may desire a mate who is very confident but lack the self-assurance to date such people, opting instead to settle for those whom you perceive will make you feel more secure. Seeking confidence through a partner distracts a person from enhancing their own level of self worth. So, don’t throw out your expectations all together but simply become aware that the qualities, which you desire in a spouse represents what you must nurture in a greater capacity within yourself to experience your desired benefits from those traits. All the incidents that cause a person to feel inadequate will not suddenly cease to elicit unworthiness simply because the “perfect match” showed up. Our insecurities are often our own best kept secret and our lovers aren’t in the loop that they’ve been tasked with making us feel worthy. Rather, when we chose people according to their perceived ability to meet our expectations, we put them in charge of our happiness and do not take responsibility for the true cause of our emotional discontent. This often leads to projecting our unhealed wounds onto our spouses and not recognizing the broader opportunity of personal growth that our persistent insecurity offers us.

Stop Rushing and Start Discovering.

When we expect a relationship to make us feel worthy or valuable then we get in a hurry to see if we can have our cake and eat it too. We will rush things to the next level because we want to confirm if a partner does indeed fit the bill of expectations that we have created for them. However, dating is an opportunity to discover who people are and through self awareness support each other in becoming the best version of ourselves. If we are not being honest or feel not confident about our choices within a relationship, it leads to believing that we have something to lose in taking our time with progressing through the relationship. For example, when I lacked the courage to act on the subtle inklings and red flags that I felt about my exes, I would inherently want rush things to the next stage to prove myself wrong or right. Similarly, if you doubt your partner’s commitment level, the answer is not rushing to move in together to see if they are willing to commit and inadvertently test out your expectations. When we assume responsibility for nurturing our own happiness through a positive mindset, selfcare and personal hobbies/passions then a partner cannot hinder our joy and we never have anything to lose in any relationship.  In contrast, making choices solely on our expectations undermines our boundaries because we will act to feel validated instead having the clarity to make choices that honor our integrity and well being.

Stop waiting for Mr. or Mrs. Right if their role is to make you feel better about who you are because our pain or unhappiness is our own and nobody else can take that away from us no matter how good they are on paper. When we are happy with ourselves and living honestly in our truth, then our relationship choices will reflect this.

INI ANANA IS AN ASPIRING LIFE AND SELF DEVELOPMENT COACH IN EDMONTON, AB. LIKE STEEPING JOY ON FACEBOOK  FOR MORE SELF DEVELOPMENT INSIGHTS.

Why Feeling Jealous Can Be a Good Thing.

Without judging yourself, I would like you to recall the last time that you felt jealous of someone or a situation and then I invite you to ponder what was the reason for your envy. You probably felt as though you were betraying your pride. Well, what if I told you that jealousy is not entirely negative because our envious sentiments provide clues to guide our self development. I believe that the context of our jealousy reveals an abandoned aspect of ourselves, therefore our envy merely reflects our subconscious desire to reconnect with those qualities within ourselves.

Love All That You Are.

The characteristics that we envy in others represent traits that we once embodied effortlessly when we loved ourselves unconditionally as young children. We gradually choose to conceal these aspects of ourselves to be accepted by others, preferring to adopt the behaviors that are validated by others. This means that experiencing frequent jealousy suggests that we are not embracing our authentic nature and must nurture more self love to celebrate all aspects of ourselves. In the past, I was primarily jealous of women who were not attention seekers, yet their genuinely kind, reserved and self-assured nature still garnered much admiration from others. During such moments of envy, I did not correlate that those attributes matched my natural demeanor as a youth.  I was an incredibly shy child who opted to be the observer, hence being more reserved was my internal setting for inner peace and my subconscious reference of authenticity. A growing desire to be noticed and admired during my adolescence led to adopting a louder and a more attention seeking disposition. Having a kinder outlook towards myself when I felt unnoticed would have enabled me to feel internally validated in embodying my reserved personality. Instead, I felt jealous seeing women who seemed comfortable in showcasing a reserved nature because it suggested that they had a more accepting and liberated relationship with themselves than I did. I was implicitly projecting a positive, yet hidden component of myself onto them and my envy was a subconscious acknowledgement that if I wanted to rekindle that aspect of myself, I would need to enhance my own sense of self acceptance. Consider another example of a naturally outspoken and vibrant friend of mine who purposely adopted a more mild-mannered temperament around a guy that she was interested in. She immediately felt jealous when she spotted him at a party enjoying the company of another boisterous and outgoing girl. Our jealousy indirectly signals a regret for not loving ourselves enough to embrace all of who we are.

Expectation Let Down.  

The aspect of ourselves that is mirrored in the occasions that cause jealousy is typically opposite to the expectation(s) that we adopted in place of those characteristic(s). For example, if you have become attached to ‘certainty’ then you may become jealous of others who display the spontaneity you once had when you felt a greater capacity of self trust. Similarly, seeing boldness in another person may produce jealousy in someone who is attached to perfection because their desire not to be perceived as flawless diminishes their sense of self compassion, which fosters a fear of critique. Jealousy reveals how the expectations, which we have adopted to experience greater social contentment are potentially not as fulfilling as anticipated. These incidents force us to recognize how others who aren’t attached to our expectations are experiencing the exact personal rewards that we hoped to garner from our expectations. A girlfriend of mine expressed feeling jealous of a neighbor’s financial freedom upon noting the neighbor’s lavish landscaping projects in their yard. I asked her to associate the neighbor’s “spending” with a specific trait to encourage her to view her jealousy as a positive projection of herself onto her neighbor. She interpreted the neighbor’s financial freedom as being ‘hardworking’ and before finishing the sentence she admitted that was a quality, which described her former self. This is my friend who is often described as a natural born hustler but sacrificed her innate drive for entrepreneurship in exchange for security after having children. The incidents that make us jealous are merely reminding us that we do not have to entirely abandon certain aspects of ourselves to be happier. The subtle discomfort of jealousy highlights the expectations that we must release to wholly accept ourselves and authentically embody the qualities that we covet in others. So, consider your next incident of jealousy as a cue that you too could experience whatever you envied in another person if you cared less about being a “certain” way and more about being yourself.

Be More You.

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It turns out that extended periods of socializing were previously exhausting for me because I didn’t periodically embrace my reserved side in the company of others. Practicing greater self awareness has led to detaching my worth from external validation and experiencing greater inner peace without “showcasing” myself in public settings. Rather, I recently encountered a lady who was the archetype of whom I would have previously envied and I ironically felt a strong liking towards her. Embracing those neglected aspects of ourselves leads to internalizing our expectations within ourselves, such that we no longer feel jealous seeing those characteristics in others. When we are denying certain aspects of ourselves to be accepted by others then we are unconsciously expecting others and circumstances to make us happy. But having to the courage to detach our happiness from our expectations fosters true self love and offers the genuine contentment we were erroneously seeking through our expectations. For example, if one could accept themselves when they are not in control, then they’ll nurture greater flexibility and patience and feel more “in control” and experience less frustration amidst disorder. Similarly, if a person can accept themselves within the prospect of not being perfect, they will experience greater self compassion, enabling them not to fear judgement during moments of imperfection and become more daring. Jealousy reveals an aspect of ourselves that needs more of our positive attention, so I want you to ponder that your current attachment to being a certain way is opposite of your true nature. That’s because your authentic self once internalized those expectations as natural to who you are and didn’t need to seek or prove it externally to be happy. Challenge yourself to allow the neglected parts of your true nature to shine a little more everyday and have the courage to let the image of who you want to be take a little breather. If you currently always feel the need to prove that you’re right, then this is likely not your true nature. Rather, once upon a time, your authentic self didn’t care what others thought and ‘understood’ your truth without seeking the consensus of others. Therefore, I encourage you to let your “understanding” side shine a little more every now and then. Our gifts, talents and passion reside with your true nature, so we cannot discover our true magic until we love ourselves enough to embrace the entirety of who we are.

INI ANANA IS AN ASPIRING LIFE AND SELF DEVELOPMENT COACH IN EDMONTON, AB. LIKE STEEPING JOY ON FACEBOOK  FOR MORE SELF DEVELOPMENT INSIGHTS.

An Ode to Love: Love is For The Receiver.

Love is our only true freedom because,
To love takes the courage  to live outside of all fear!
Love does not fear loss, it is not afraid of failure, and
Love is not seduced by the clout of the ego.
Love indeed is for the Receiver, so whom so ever receives Love may be graced with acceptance and virtue!
Love is for the Receiver, for
This is the nature of the Divine Love bestowed upon us, which is unwavering and
Does not bind nor possess and is not rationed upon circumstance!
But it sets us free so that we may always feel welcomed, because
Love is for the receiver and as we receive Love, so shall we discover how to Love  because,
Love is for the Receiver!
When we share Love for the sake of the Receiver, then
Love is unselfish, and only
When we are not selfish that
We are set free.

 

“Steeping joy, brewed with all that life has to offer”

An Ode to All Parents: Enjoy All The Moments

Being a parent is a constant reminder that time slips away quietly like the moon disappearing behind the sky and it’s only the sudden bleakness from moments that have come to pass, which brings to mind the way things once were. I sometimes regret that I can’t quite recall the details of my son’s baby milestones from fourteen years ago, and it’s the kind of truth that always makes you wonder if you are savouring every moment to the last drop. This past week when we moved Fraya into her own room, I had a deep longing to relive the months when I could gaze at her while she slept and greeted each morning with her wiggling body grinning with excitement to see me standing above her bassinet. I shed my first tears of sadness since Fraya was born because I’m suddenly reminded that we are once again on the trajectory of slowly meeting milestones with a heavy heart.  And I somehow felt connected to all of us parents travelling on this same journey, watching our children gradually run farther from us and their independence grows an ironic yearning in the distance they’ve left behind. We often come to realize that those days that are now behind us were indeed the best of times, so here’s an ode to all the parents:

The new parents embracing the warmth of their baby’s  flesh on their body for the first time, wondering how they created such magic, savour the joy this perfect moment for someday you’ll strain your memory to recall that bliss.

To the exhausted parents stealing sleep in odd places  because their baby’s body is always attached to their chest, enjoy that bond, a time will come when they will wrestle from such closeness.

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To those tirelessly chasing busy, restless bodies, enjoy the thrill, for these may be the purest fun you’ll ever have.

To those putting one foot in front of the other surviving meltdowns, tantrums and whining, you’re doing the best you know and someday you’ll miss when could solve their problems by kissing it better.

To the exasperated mommies and daddies telling another bedtime story, scratching imaginary itches, answering unrelated questions when sleep is long overdue, please enjoy this irony because a time will come when they will be sleeping more than you can handle.

To those parents marching along on the first days of school, filled with pride wondering how their little baby grew so big, enjoy their excitement because it may not last forever.

To those reaching the limits of their patience from still debating the same point, enjoy this chatter for a time will come when you’ll ask for more words to fill their silence.

To all the parents resting their weary heads at night, blissfully exhausted as they recall the small miracles you’ve performed today to get everyone where they needed to be, enjoy this contentment for a time will come when they won’t need you as much.

To the parents meeting each struggle with doubt, feeling defeated that you are not getting it right, enjoy your resolve to begin anew ‘starting now’, a time will come to make peace with the past.

To those parents climbing over the molehills and mountains with teenagers who rarely do all they claim to know, a time will surely come when you will all reminiscence over these stories.

To the parents whose children are spreading their wings way past your bed time, as you lay awake imagining the worst, enjoy the relief of a child returning home safe, a time is coming when they’ll soar to new grounds.

To the parents wondering if they’ve done enough to prepare your growing child for their new horizons, enjoy the freedom of learning to let go. A time is coming when all you can do is support their choices.

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To the parents who are on the other side of childhood crying tears of joy at graduations, farewells and celebrations enjoy the blessing of finally seeing how your love brought every moment together.

To the parents becoming grandparents, embracing the warmth of your grandchild and experiencing the magic of unconditional love, this is joy of doing it all over again.

To the grandparents who never stopped being our parents especially when our journey met broken roads, hearts, dreams and homes, we cherish the love of always being your children.

To all the parents at every stage of life looking for meaning in the imperfect occasions enjoying the mystery of not yet knowing that these moments will become the glory days when life was as good as it gets.

Which stage of parenting do you now see in a brighter light now that it’s passed?

XO

Ini A

“Steeping joy, brewed with all that life has to offer”

All professional images by Janet Cruz Photography, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada