I’ve always had an innate desire to make sense of everything but when I saw life from my ego, I directed my inquiry outward instead of understanding myself. But the answers that guide our personal journey reside with our authentic understanding/alignment with our highest self, therefore deciphering others is like writing the wrong test during an exam. We must know ourselves beyond our ego’s expectations in order to gain the true wisdom for our lives. After years of supposedly knowing it all, it was when I began seeing life through the lens of innocence that I discovered the wisdom and passion laying dormant in my consciousness. In what felt like an ordinary moment earlier this year, during my own sullen experience of misalignment, I briefly mourned the eventual loss of my angel’s innocence pondering the day that she too will shed her innate knowing that she is already enough. The sadness that followed that moment was the catalyst for my spiritual awakening and self rediscovery. I now understand that I was actually being inspired through divine intervention to mourn the loss of my own innocence and to rescue her from the fog of my ego mind.
You must mourn the loss of your innocence and commission a search party for her return. Put out her missing posters and knock on the doors of those who still remember her. Let them tell of how she was bold or gracious, knew what she wanted and went after it without fear. They will remind you that her imagination bore the greatest fantasies, she was full of curiosity, love and zeal. She sprinkled beauty and kindness everywhere she went and lifted the spirits of all those around her. Let them recall how she galloped with pride in her being and spoke her mind freely without doubt. Let your heart be moved by her legacy and weep that she has been buried alive. And as a loving parent who wouldn’t rest until the safe return of their missing child, you must find the courage to recover her. Fight for her in every waking moment of your day, knowing that when you choose to see life though the lens of love, you are one with your true and highest self.
Whenever we find ourselves unable to embrace our circumstances or struggles, we must ask ourselves “what am I resisting?” Consider the personal skill or trait you are avoiding or not embodying in your resistance to the situation. Are people taking advantage of you so you can learn to speak up for yourself? Are your interactions with your children or family strained in order to teach you the compassion that you are also lacking towards yourself? Were you humiliated to force you to stop caring about what others think? Your resistance to this particular quality is also essentially fighting/resisting yourself and limits your capacity to be good to yourself. Without developing this aspect of our character, we are choosing to impact/cater to the actions/opinion of others at our expense. If you live the rest of your life without nurturing this all important trait, you’ll never be good to yourself and subsequently will never be happier, more fulfilled or empowered than you are right now.
Expecting others or life to be perfect simply because we lack the courage to be good to ourselves will keep us stuck and living below our potential FOREVER. I’ve been given a new inspiration to develop a self-compassion workshop and would you believe that I’ve been experiencing the very situations that require me to be compassionate to myself instead of worrying about the perceptions of others. In the past however, I would have chosen to be distressed and pondered why life didn’t love me enough to make everything easier and perfect 🤷🏾♀️. Rather, I said “how’s this a good thing for my goals”? The reflection revealed that I may have taken the basics of self compassion for granted due to my committed spiritual growth, thus my current experiences is taking me through the “practical” and elementary knowledge to incorporate into my teachings. This approach opened my awareness beyond the immediate predicament, raised my vibration and propelled me into taking aligned actions. When you consider how your challenges are beneficial, it gives you a sense of control over them. Have the courage to ask the questions that will move you forward because your progress can’t occur against your willingness.
You are courageous and powerful, lean into your truth and potential.
Our baby Fraya is five months old today and while this feels like an unexpected jab in the gut, more than ever I’m embracing the truth that time moves steadily and we have to maximize our experiences. I’ve reflected on the last few months and put together a list of 5 lessons that life with Fraya has taught/reminded me of so far.
1.) Everything is a phase, and whatever seems to be missing in one phase somehow shows up in the next phase, so trust the process.
- In the last five months I have gone from doing everything one handed with little Fraya tucked in one hip to now embracing a higher level of flexibility, which I could not have predicted. I am treasuring Fraya’s increased independence that now allows me finish a meal in one seating. We tend to be preoccupied with what is lacking in our present circumstances only to gradually see these desires manifest as we progress through life. As they say, “you can have it all but you may not have it all once”.
2.) Focus and be engaged in what you’re doing otherwise you may forget something important.
- Let me attest that mommy brain is real people and apparently there is some research that shows decreased gray matter up to two years after having a baby. I could write a multi volume book on all the blunders I’ve committed (and I will definitely do a blog post on this sometime soon) due to my absent mindedness. And in all honesty I do confess that these occurrences usually coincided with trying to do too much at once. Sometimes when we spread our focus over too many priorities at once, it may distract us from the real importance of what we wish to accomplish.
3.) You have more fun when you don’t have your guard up.
- There’s nothing like having a baby to force you to shed your serious shell. So much of our interactions with Fraya requires stepping out of our of adult reservations, from reading Dr. Seuss with a full animated voice to making friends with perfect strangers smitten with her sweetness. When we do not have our guards up, we’ve let go of preconceived assumptions and are able to embrace experiences for what they really are.
4.) If you spend too much time on shit, you may end up with more shit.
- I think the relevance of this statement when changing soiled diapers is pretty obvious. But extrapolating from this point, all of life is energy, physical, emotional, mental etc., and how we allocate your energy impacts our outlook and choices, which indirectly corresponds with the content of our lives.
5.) You don’t really need everything you want!
- Like eight hours of sleep, rather you amaze yourself when you are getting by with less that four and thank goodness for the reassurance in lesson number 1 because I do not think we were meant to endure sleep deprivation forever.On a broader note, I believe that an important component of sustaining joy is having the foresight to prioritize the things that are truly essential to our happiness in the first place.
Xo Ini A.
“Steeping joy, brewed with all that life has to offer”
Professional feature image by Janet Cruz Photography, Edmonton, AB.