You deserve a shot at the life of your dreams.

The day that I discovered what it truly meant to believe in myself, I was pleading with my doubts for a chance to at least be called up to bat in my field of dreams. I didn’t care about the taunting stories in my mind reminding me that I could never hit a first base let alone a home run because I was finally ready to just be in the game. The moment we begin to believe in ourselves comes out of sheer desperation to no longer feel left out of the life that we want to live. We start believing a different truth about ourselves when we desire the next level of happiness (in whatever form it takes) more than we cherish the comfort of our boredom . We will clamor onto the slightest bit of audacity like a child dragging on a parent’s ankle, insisting not to be left behind. We will be unprepared and feel unqualified to navigate the great unknown that lies ahead but the smallness of our reality will seem too heavy a burden to carry for another step. Believe is the next turn right after what felt like the end, where we finally accept that we deserve to try. The moment that we believe in ourselves is the moment we remember that we always could all along if we were just willing to keep trying and learning.

I do not know when this moment will come for some of you reading this but when it does, it will be too familiar to feel brand new. And remembering the other time(s) when you have summoned the same courage will excite you to keep standing your ground. You will remember the same energy of readiness you felt as child rejoining the fun after wailing in isolation to protest unfair punishment. It will be like dejavu, recalling that other time(s) you were so bold to trust in what you were capable of instead of handing over your pride to defeat. Believe is born when we are suddenly content to just show up and take the next step, no matter how small it is. It is when we become like we were as babes battling our weight to roll but we persisted in the struggle intuitively knowing that every inch gained would get us closer to someday walking.

So it’s okay if today, you didn’t send that email to ask for more of what you deserve. It’s okay if you did not think it was worth trying to carve out a little time to care for yourself. It’s okay if you’re not sharing that gift in your soul because you think it’s nothing special. But what is it going to take for you to believe that you at least deserve to try? Not simply to impress the crowd but just to get off the bench because you have a right play, to join the fun? It’s okay if you think that you don’t know enough to start now but when will you deserve to give yourself a chance to learn? When will you deserve to take even the smallest step, like getting out a pen and writing out a vision of how things could be. See, I know that when that moment comes you’ll be surprised and maybe relieved that you could feel so much power without yet changing a single thing. Because it’s then that you too will realize that one can indeed climb an entire staircase never seeing the top because they are happy to take one step at time. For today, just tell yourself the truth about why you don’t think you deserve to feel more joy in your heart. Then, thank your doubts for letting you know what it feels like to miss out on the life you were born to live. And muscle every ounce of your humanity to remember what you are truly capable of and just be willing to keep showing up to take a step towards the next level of joy in your life.

Look closer within in 2018.

I’m leaving 2017 behind with a renewed inspiration that we simply need to “look closer within” to find the answers or purpose that we seek. But one will not find new details with the same conditioned eyes and mind that can no longer reveal a novel truth about who we are. We must think outside the box of expectations of how we insist that we ought to be. My friends there’s nothing new to see, feel or be within the confines of the labels that keep us seeking worth in external measures. Rather, let’s look closer at the unexpressed part of ourselves because this is where our human creativity and purpose remains unfulfilled. It’s in this place where we seldom look that our gifts lay neglected in the forgotten aspects of our being.

Be seen.

What do you feel that others do not know about how you experience life? This is not simply an incident or a specific experience but which part of your essence remains unknown to many? Now, consider how does the feeling that swells in your heart from being this unseen version of yourself exit your body and connect to others so your soul can feel fully seen and understood? How do you express or satisfy the emotions that arise from being connected to this “unseen” part of yourself. This my friends is the gift that makes you feel alive and most like yourself. It’s the missing and distant essence that we can feel deep within but cannot seem to experience within the box of expectations that we’ve cocooned ourselves in. It’s often difficult to fathom that the self expression that emanates from this version of ourselves are “gifts” since we don’t spend enough time admiring this aspect of ourselves. These gifts seems too simple, so we may keep searching far and wide to become or do something greater to make us feel that we matter. We’ve forgotten that connecting to the hearts of others is how we leave our impact on the world. Perhaps we do not believe that world will be changed by the human story that comes from the creative application of our “unseen” self. But this is the very expression that also allows others who feel as we do to also feel seen. All of humanity is longing to be seen for who they are but many of us unintentionally lose ourselves as cater to how we long to be seen through the eyes of others (parents, teachers, peers, coaches). But this I know for sure, that we do not discover true joy and purpose until we embrace and fulfill the expression of our “unseen” self. We may climb mountains and accumulate every earthly accolade but one will not feel complete without purposefully expressing their authentic self.

Keep it simple: make it real.

I believe that as we move into the new year, the most meaningful task for many of us is to foremost identify this unseen part of ourselves and the mode of self expression that best emotes this aspect of our essence. It will require surrendering to the old ideas about ourselves but be assured that our vision becomes clearer when we reconnect with our missing part(s). I believe that incorporating our unique self expression into our passions, pursuits and daily living enables us to discover greater creative potential for abundance and fulfillment. For myself, what is often unknown about me is the emotional intensify in which I experience life, in other words ‘I think in emotions’. Stuttering severely as a child, I imagine that I became very aware and connected to my feelings because I couldn’t verbally express them as I wanted to. I cradled my emotions with curiosity and would eventually learn that unless others were hiding their feelings, most people didn’t seem to feel in the same magnitude as I did. The longer I sat with my feelings, the easier it was to string them into words that expressed the crispness of my joy, sadness or anger. Often,I cannot get the words out fast enough when I’m steeped in my emotions and this form of emotional writing or poetry is actually my truest connection to myself. Yet, I’ve not been indulging in this type of writing because I too was searching too far and wide to fulfill my passion for personal transformation and growth. But I believe that human transformation grows from how well we can invite others to feel our desired emotional objective. This requires us to utilize the gift of that creative self expression, which effortlessly captures how we experience life.

In 2018, I will be incorporating this aspect of my authenticity in an exciting new personal development project. It seems scarier that anything that I’ve done, which is why I know that it’s the path I must embrace. Friends, follow the lightness in your heart, it’s your soul feeling free to be its unlimited self. Stop complicating the process, the answers would not be hidden in a place where we could not find them.  First, we must become deeply connected to the feeling that you wish to impart on others through our creative efforts. Unsurprisingly, it’s the unique gifts of our “unseen” self that will enable you to convey this emotion to others. Atlas, our impact is created through the emotional human connection with others that our unique self expression fosters. Being yourself is not difficult so keep it simple and embrace all that you are. The is the beginning point from which your endless possibilities grows.

 

Nurturing the faith of a mustard seed.

I recently watched a video segment where Oprah attributed her tremendous conviction in herself to religious teachings such as the biblical verse where Jesus commands that if one had as little faith as a mustard seed they could uproot the tree. Oprah asserted that we don’t get what we ‘want’ in life but manifest what we feel we deserve through our own believe of ourselves. She added that one must internalize joy, fulfillment, peace, happiness, success, comfort and abundance as part of their birth right in order to manifest those ideals into their life circumstances. I always  pondered why Jesus chose the minuscule mustard seed to correlate the unwavering courage necessary to nurture faith. Our fifteen month old Fraya reminds me that very young children only behave as though the ideals described by Oprah are their birthright while adults demand a reason to feel joy. Extrapolating from the importance of authenticity in discovering the inspiration for greater purpose and the truth of humanity being created in the likeness of God offers a new awareness about this metaphor.  I now understand that Jesus references the minute mustard seed in Luke to correlate that simply embodying our true innate nature is all that’s necessary to remain connected to and believe in God and subsequently ourselves. Last week, I explored the lifestyle criterias that nurture positive self believe and the remainder of this article explains  that being authentic is the outcome of embodying those ideals.

You are not your expectations.

I invite everyone to consider if they are completely happy with themselves or their life to discern if they are being their true self. If the answer was no, then unfortunately a person is not being authentic with themselves. And while some would insist that their discontent only stems from not yet attaining certain desires in their life. I believe that external factors ‘seem’ to make us unhappy only because we stopped being our true selves and became the expectations we thought would make us feel more worthy. Transitioning back into one’s authentic self entails acting in the opposite manner as a person  currently does when they’re not content. Believing that happiness is our birthright entails choosing behaviors and thoughts that genuinely make us happy. Therefore, if a person’s reactions to emotional discontent intensifies their unhappiness then they are responding to embody their unmet  ‘expectations’ rather than satisfying their own authentic need for joy. Hence, the occasions where most people stop being their true selves is when their expectations of needing love or approval from others (in order to feel happy) goes unmet. We typically mask the vulnerability of our unmet expectations by reacting with anger, resentment, blame etc, instead of employing the courage to choose a response that honors our intrinsic desire to experience joy. Fraya on the other hand has given me a kiss mid tears and frowns because she is only motivated by her birthright to be happy and experience love not only during perfect conditions. Framing our responses as a means of creating our own happiness internalizes that our fate does not depend on circumstances but is determined by our own ability and willingness to continue fulfilling our happiness. Thus, being authentic amidst vulnerability prevents us from becoming  discouraged by unfavorable circumstances, which bolsters   our conviction in ourselves.

Authenticity=Consistency=self trust.

Being motivated by our expectations of others and ourselves diminishes our control over our choices, making it difficult to trust ourselves. When my own joyful demeanor was augmented by the actions of others, I was unknowingly people pleasing instead genuinely responding in my own best interest. Rather committing to responses that align with our authentic desire to experience inner peace ‘for ourselves’ creates consistency in appraising our identity. We become more likely to trust and believe in ourselves when we can rely on own capacity to make choices that uphold our inner peace. Rather, I did not previously have a genuine reference of what “my best interest” resembled  when my intentions were derailed by the actions of others (or circumstances). Instead, I was simply making it up on the fly with impulsive reactions to appease my discontent and unmet expectations. Our fragile and needy ego confuses us to perceive that adapting who are according to circumstances is empowering. However, it creates dependency on others for joy, which undermines our own ability to believe in ourselves.

Embracing our authentic free loving nature is the ultimate goal of our existence. This insight offers me a new interpretation for one my favorite passages in the Bible. The metaphor of the mustard seed simultaneously alludes to the simplicity entailed in being our authentic self  and the inherent courage that is required in bravely choosing to be ourselves in every moment. It takes tremendous courage not to hide behind anger, blame, sadness, etc but to allow our human desire to feel love during these moment be seen through mindful responses that restore our inner peace.  Everyday Fraya illustrates that the world doesn’t owe us happiness because we were already given the right and ability to create it for ourselves. Thus, willingly co-creating with negative emotions is not staying aligned with our true selves that is connected to divine intuition and inspiration. Our true nature is always love, hence we are called to be an unconditional embodiment of love to accept ourselves unconditionally and transcend all conditions. Our capacity to rise ‘above’ all circumstances through unconditional self love deepens our positive believe in ourselves and trust in our Creator.

We can’t cheat love.

While contemplating the spiritual oneness of love, I always ponder the Divine source of love, God is incredibly ingenious and marvelous in ensuring that we can’t cheat the essence of love. We have to choose to embody love unconditionally in our choices to subsequently sustain the emotional qualities that enable us to love ourselves unconditionally. If a person selectively embodies kindness in their actions, then they will only be kind to themselves some of the time. And it is the relationship that we are having with ourselves that shapes our experience of happiness or suffering. We must love ourselves unconditionally to embrace our gifts and remain connected to our soul’s Divine intelligence for fulfilling our highest expression of purpose and abundance. Therefore, it’s impossible to cheat the divine oneness of love, which means we cannot be happy with ourselves  without embodying love unconditionally in our choices. Without embodying love unconditionally, we do not nurture sufficient love for ourselves and remain in emotional suffering and self scarcity. I dare to imagine that our Creator hoped that all would recognize the perfect nature of love and use it to their personal advantage and the universal benefit would be sustained peace in the world. Nothing could be further from the truth as I still ponder why it took me until just last year to make the connection that all my prior discontented reactions undermined nurturing the qualities necessary to accept and love myself. Rather, diminished self love left me with a desperation for a love that was already mine and I simply needed to connect to through my choices. Like many, I wasn’t too concerned about my personal void of self love because I was determined to “find love” out there or accomplish something that would cure my internal sense of unworthiness.

There’s only one love.

It’s unfortunate that our innate nature of love becomes interrupted with the social conditioning that love is something that we need to get, must be given to us or can be lost. I believe that this is the reason why we become conditional with sharing love in the presumably “non important” interactions and subsequently lack the qualities to love ourselves and trust our boundaries in other relationships. We are ultimately only in a relationship with ourselves and  every choice or reaction either enhances or diminishes the traits we need to remain in a loving relationship within ourselves. The moment of awakening is recognizing that our actions and reactions are always geared at us. We are either fighting (resisting) or loving only ourselves no matter who our choices are directed at. Our choices only impact others depending on how they choose to respond within themselves, with love or ego. Our ego may fool us to believe that we doing, proving, showing, being superior or even kind to others but there is no “other”, because our God is a genius and there’s only one love. Our accomplishments or romantic relationships will never make us happier if our lifestyle choices and actions do not enhance our capacity to love ourselves.

Love= Self Abundance.

Love is free! It is always ours and will never run out as long as we remain connected to it through our choices. But embodying the qualities of love selectively or conditionally in our interactions, thoughts and choices diminishes our ability to love ourselves and keeps us unhappy, fearful with little direction in life. Imagine for an example that a person gave someone a gift because they felt that the friend would enjoy it, would many of us expect the same gift back in return to be happy? Probably not, rather we’d likely be puzzled if they insisted on doing so as we could have bought it for ourselves if we so desired. Well love is the most valuable currency in the world and the same principle applies. When we share compassion, kindness, etc freely then we remain connected to our innate loving nature towards ourselves. This offers us the autonomy of not needing others to love us to be happy, giving us the confidence and independence to make choices that uphold our well-being and growth. But when we become conditional with love, then we will never have enough for ourselves and are desperately seeking it from others.

Choose love, because we can’t cheat our Creator’s perfect system of oneness. We must abandon all affinity to fear in order to love ourselves and awaken to the wisdom of our greatness. We are in the likeness of God’s love, therefore we cannot ‘presumably’ fear God because we will fear ourselves. If we fear ourselves then we do not trust ourselves and will fear everyone else. And it is the subconscious fear of others that deters much of humanity from growing into our potential. We must choose to be an embodiment of God’s love because this is our true nature and when we stop being true to ourselves, we suffer and remain unhappy.

The only thing that will change your life.

I saw this poignant quote today and felt that  it captured an integral essence of personal development. I’ve gained a lot of wisdom over the last ten months by simply practicing the following principle that I believe is necessary in order to expand our lives: “the only way to get what we want from life is to stop waiting for a reason, a milestone or an outcome to occur in order to be happy”. By the way, this is called authenticity. Right now as you are, without a single thing changing or happening in your life, this is the version of yourself that you need to love and accept in order to reclaim your greatness. Whatever would give you joy within this context of your being (when you’re not pretending to be the expectations that you believe would make you more worthy) is the gift of your passion. Anything and everything else will always become a tiresome chore that will not give your soul the joy and abundance that your it desires and is capable of.

Consider that the person you are now doesn’t have anything to prove or lose so it’d be some kind of magic if you would put a little fuel of love into her and give her some direction. Allowing yourself to be good enough right now shows the universe that you deserve what you desire and finally gives the version of you that is sustainable the permission to start creating. As you are right now is all that is certain, and if you infused enough joy into your momentum, you would finally have nothing to lose because you are already happy simply being you. Therefore, whatever false imaginings, gripes or regrets that you must let go of to feel joy again in this moment of your life is actually the lesson that your life has been trying to teach you. And all experiences in your life will continue to nudge you to release whatever expectation(s) prevents you from loving yourself, so might as well take the lesson now before it becomes more forceful.

Unhappiness is simply your soul’s rebellion against denying yourself of love. It’s been waiting with gifts and wisdom to guide you into greater abundance but soon it will grow more impatient if it feels that time is running out. Like a stubborn child with its arms crossed and backed turned to your charade, it will stay unhappy unless you love yourself. You may say “but I got a new motorcycle, aren’t you happy now?” and it will not budge with an ounce of joy. “But I lost so much weight, aren’t you happy now?” And it will be stonewalled. Your soul will withhold all joy for any performance of inauthenticity.

You will have no choice but to finally embrace your truth and honour yourself wholly as you will surely tire of internally suffering in vain. This is how ordinary people create extraordinary lives by choosing joy just as they are and letting their soul guide them into their natural magnificence.

 

Self love is the key to manifestation.

I previously approached the law of attraction as merely thinking positively about the job, relationship or any favorable outcome, which I deemed would make me happier. I overlooked the fact that the theory of attraction relates to that person that I had to be to feel deserving of my desired outcome. Thus, how we perceive our self worth is the true law of attraction. Subsequentlythe limitations on how a person experiences inner peace subconsciously signals the magnitude of what they believe that they deserve in life. When I did not love myself unconditionally and derived inner peace during the unpredictable occasions when life unfolded perfectly, I only attracted what I perceived that I could handle. In contrast, self love detaches our joy from external factors and our resulting ability to embrace life unconditionally opens up greater possibilities of manifestation. Loving ourselves offers clarity about our intentions and choices, while flowing with the tides of life fosters a creative wisdom that enables us to trust the process of our evolution and self mastery.

Self love is your clarity.
Without self love, we unknowingly limit our potential  due to a subconscious motivation to recoup from others and circumstances the love that we aren’t giving to ourselves. For me, this began innocently as a desire to make others (family) proud. However, this need for approval eventually evolves into a fear of loosing the validation of others and one resigns to a life of simply avoiding unfavorable outcomes. Our vision loses focus if we base our choices on what we do not want instead of consciously identifying and fulfilling the passions that makes us happy. The avoidance approach diminishes the selection of desirable choices/endeavors and this is the point in life where many erroneously doubt their capacity to manifest more from life. Rather, separating one’s inner peace and joy from their expectations to be praised and validated by others would offer a person clarity about what they truly want and how to make supportive choices that enhance  fulfilling greater purpose. We must love ourselves in the same manner that we expect to be validated by others in order to feel no love lost when we detach our efforts from the opinions of others. Self love becomes the gateway for choosing growth and expansion over approval.

Self love fuels creativity.
One only needs to observe young children to remember that creativity is not only our innate nature but a necessary aspect of our evolution. I believe that creativity is reflected in our capacity to resolve or transform an emotional, physical or mental experience in a favorable manner. Therefore, creativity also requires detaching our inner peace and joy from the expectations we have of others, circumstances and outcomes. The qualities (patience, kindness, compassion, trust) that one needs to love themselves are the same traits that is required to nurture our creative personality. Unfortunately, the ego often reacts to discontent with force and resistance instead of with ease and understanding when we expect others to love us in a greater manner than we love ourselves. Hence, I did not tap into my true creative potential earlier in life when I selectively embodied love in my routine interactions. When I could not peacefully resolve and understand my son’s tantrum, a careless driver merging in traffic or a rude customer service person, I also lacked the creativity to resolve the bigger issues of my life. The more that our inner peace is attached to the action of others, then the less inspired we become, which diminishes the value to bring to and attain from our life. By detaching our identity from circumstance, self love allows us to gain the creative wisdom from each experience of discontent.

There are jewels within every human soul that one cannot discover until they learn to engage lovingly with themselves. We must venture through vulnerability and self honesty to discover the power within us. Embracing vulnerability offers us courage to willingly go first in choosing love in our interactions so that we do not become limited by seeking it from others. When we share love freely we gain the advantage of having nothing left to lose. The fearlessness that grows from self love aligns our actions with our true source of happiness,  allowing us to manifest greater abundance.

What maybe keeping you from discovering your higher purpose.

If you are currently searching to discover your soul’s highest expression of purpose and abundance then it may be more useful to identify the broader lifestyle choices that are hindering your capacity to gain your desired clarity. If your laser focus on tapping into your gifts continually comes up empty handed then you may actually be missing the bigger details that primes our mindset for  fulfilling our highest potential. Reflecting upon the times when I wasn’t connected to a deeper sense of life purpose, I can now discern the specific outlook that prevented me from being in alignment with my current passion for self development. Here are a couple universal components of fulfilling purpose that a person should first consider about their current lifestyle to determine if they possess the mindset that compliments  manifesting their highest purpose and abundance.

Are you willing to connect deeply with others?

Service is the crux of living purposefully and it represents our innate human desire to connect with others while sharing our gifts. Service grows from the notion of mutuality  and entails a desire to foster belonging by sharing the best aspect of our being with others unconditionally. Therefore, the best way to assess one’s readiness for a service mindset is to examine their willingness to create belonging and acceptance for others (strangers) in their routine interactions. And the best litmus for our propensity for connection is how one responds to other people’s egos since that is the part of our identity that intrinsically creates separation and estranges others. If a person’s default reaction is to be right, judge others or always insist on having their way then they haven’t yet adopted the desire to connect deeply with others, which is the underlying basis of sharing our gifts in a purposeful way. The desire to connect deeper with others is a key component of fulfilling greater purpose because it requires us to foremost love ourselves unconditionally. It’s through our own self acceptance that we no longer seek validation or worth through others and begin to see the humanity in others. Without having a service mindset, we still perceive that joy stems from what we expect to get from life, rather than what we can offer and share through our inspiration and creativity.

Are you ready to be yourself?

While the notion of “being yourself” is a popular message in our culture, it remains  an ambiguous concept that I did not fully understand until rediscovering my authentic nature this year. Being yourself means to be and embody the qualities that one would expect of others or act as they wish to be treated. What we demand or desire from others represents the subconscious criteria of our sense of similarity and belonging with others. Therefore, our expectations of others actually represent our repressed authentic nature that we seek to experience through others. I believe that pivotal life events left us feeling unloved or unapproved by others as we embraced certain aspects of ourselves and our vulnerability resolved not to showcase our authenticity unconditionally. Denying ourselves the joy that stems from our authentic self leads to seeking those traits in others. Thus, being yourself is not expecting anything from another person in order to feel happy, which is the essence of self love. The self acceptance that results from not needing the approval of others (family, friends, etc.) frees us to fearlessly express our own unique gifts.

The common thread between both of these criteria for fulfilling greater purpose is the willingness to go first in choosing love in our interactions. Purpose is our soul’s highest expression of love that we want to share unconditionally. Therefore without releasing the expectations/limitations on when we express love in our interactions, we will feel separate from others, which creates a subconscious fear of being ourselves or of true service to others.

 

Why we must keep changing.

Our resistance to our changing circumstances limits our human potential because we are designed to change in order to meet our needs. Every moment in the day, you are not the same person. Physiologically, our body is constantly altering and adjusting according to changing chemical/electrical inputs in order to achieve equilibrium, imagine if your pupils did not dilate in darkness. Emotionally, our innate ability to love enables us to experience joy/peace, where our task is to constantly adapt our self awareness in response to our circumstances and recognize how to love more to sustain happiness. If your circumstances produce a feeling of losing control, resuming inner peace and happiness does not require seeking greater control over external factors or others but becoming more patient. Therefore, we must constantly change within ourselves to experience joy and peace, yet the common response to disappointment is to look externally for what is wrong, what to blame and to change. Naturally, this doesn’t resolve our discontent because it does not enable us to grow into the person that can OVERCOME our difficulties, thus we keep struggling through the same predicaments instead rising above it. Change because it is our nature, we are suppose to change, we are allowed to change and we must change from the inside out to feel the joy that we crave.

“Our purpose is to transform our pain”–I. Anana

*Money, Jobs, Relationship, etc= Service
Service=Value
Value= Energy.

Therefore how we use our energy in each moment ultimately determines the value that we bring to our circumstances, which predicts the  overall magnitude of abundance and fulfillment that we are creating.
——————————————————
Recently listening to an episode of Lewis Howe’s “School of Greatness” podcast reaffirmed my conviction in the above abundance equation that I brainstormed last week. Lewis promoted his new book “The Mask of Masculinity”, which offers men tools on overcoming repressed emotional pain and trauma and the social consequences that follow. His guest Nick Ortner, creator of the Tapping Solution, teaches how to heal emotional stress and trauma with EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), enabling individuals to make empowered decisions beyond the fight or flight mode of repressed emotional stress. Their projects reinforced the insight that our suffering is simply a repression of our purpose since both men previously suffered the very issues, which they now show others how to alleviate. Howes was sexually abused as a child and initially chose of path of athletics to prove his masculinity. Ortner, an immigrant from Argentina witnessed his parents endure tremendous financial stress and upon experiencing the same in his own life sought out a stress relief solution. Their personal ability to transform their specific pain to joy became the magnitude of value that they offer to others in those conditions. Thus, the inspiration that stems from our own personal transformation is the most valuable mode of creating meaningful change and service.

What determines value?

I believe that the value of any service or item relates to it’s capacity to produce it’s desired outcome, that is how well it serves it’s purpose. The ultimate purpose of everything in life is to create the experience joy or added benefit through the process of work. It takes energy to do work, hence our purpose in life is to ‘positively’ transform our energy/effort (mental, emotional, etc) in each moment in order to experience the desired outcome of joy. There is generally an equal exchange of value and service, whereby one wouldn’t expect to obtain $100 worth of service or product if they only have $5 currency to exchange. Similarly, the magnitude of our willingness to be ‘positively’ transformed in each moment is the value we bring to our interactions. This subsequently predicts the extent of joy and abundance that we derive from life. Consequently, suffering entails receiving minimal fulfillment from our circumstances due to our reduced ability to live out our purpose of being ‘positively‘ transformed in each moment. Suffering is effort (energy) with diminished positive transformation/value, thus it is showing up to life with insufficient transformational currency to afford our desired level of joy.  It’s not simply “what” we are doing that is important but “who” we are as we are doing it that adds inspiration, creativity and value to our efforts. To create more abundance in any aspect of life, we must ‘positively‘ transform our choices to resolve areas of discontent in our lives. The inspiration, creativity and wisdom that we gain from doing so augments the value and service that we can offer to others just as Howes and Ortner and so many others have done through out history.

Your Healing Adds True Value.

I recently considered the difference in my current approach to my long time passion for empowering women to rise above subjugation. Seven years ago, I wrote down a goal of someday opening a resource center for marginalized women and children to overcome access barriers to social and economic opportunities. This was motivated by my own  sense of social disempowerment as a single black mother. Yet, simply focusing on “what” resources to could provide, reflected the limited value and service that I could personally add to my desired outcome at that time. My ongoing spiritual transformation has now broadened my knowledge and inspiration to overcoming the internal sense of unworthiness that perpetuates the cycle of disempowerment. I had to heal my own limiting beliefs and sense of inadequacy in order to understand that it’s a lack of self compassion and acceptance that drives our conditioned outlook of self denial and sabotage. I couldn’t impact this aspect of change when I was still living in personal disempowerment within myself, denying my internal truth to appease the appearances of what society deemed as worthy. I now realize that it wouldn’t be enough to assist a woman on what to do to enhance her living conditions without addressing the internal unworthiness to could still render a person a victim or disempowered in their relationships and personal choices.

True empowerment comes from authentically accepting ourselves as always worthy and good enough regardless of external labels or expectations. My message on this issue now carries a level of authenticity, vulnerability and humanity that I simply could not access prior to transforming my own internal experience of disempowerment. Without undergoing our own healing we simply project our pain as ‘what’ must be done by others to address the issue. Through our own transformation, we gain the value of understanding how to bring about change at a deeper and human level. Our healing allows others to see themselves in our stories and offers the recipe for how they too can transform our shared pain. The only place to transform ourselves is in the present now because that’s the only setting where life unfolds. Stop waiting for the big or special moments because transformation begins during any moment where we are willing to respond to our discontent to create the desired outcome of joy. We must intentionally live each moment with purpose, because the value we bring to our interactions, determines our capacity to reap our desired joy and abundance in our relationships, careers or goals.

The world needs the inspiration and value that your brand of healing will bring. This is currently your highest purpose in life, your capacity to experience greater joy, abundance and connection depends on this transformation. Our internal pain mirrors the suffering that we seek to change in the world. Our transformation becomes the inspiration that enables us to be of valuable service to such causes.

A Dream Of Self Acceptance

I have a dream, that one day you will awake to a renewed hope in your being.
That we will not turn our backs on ourselves in hopes of receiving love from another.
That we will look upon ourselves like our babes and smile at every part of experience.
We will not treat ourselves like an outsider when we fall, stumble or cannot find our way.
We will not play favorites with ourselves, rejoicing in our being only when we can take a bow.
But we will sit and be with ourselves in our darkest hour, in the loneliest thoughts and become deaf to the noise of others’ voices bullying our pain.
We will be like our own loving parent who sees their young running towards them with their scraped knees panting and wailing to tell the tale of their assault,
With open arms, we will hear ourselves out with compassion and without judgment and will disregard what the perpetrator should have or shouldn’t have done.
But choose to let our hearts swell with love for our vulnerability, embrace ourselves nodding to our soul that we are okay.
I have a dream that once we see our ups and downs with the same favor of contentment then the spaces in our heart will never be closed and joy and peace will always find their way in.
And pain and sadness will come and go without being held captive.
I have a dream for all to know this divine smile of peace that now rests in my being and sees no threat in anything beyond my soul.
Join me in the oasis of unconditional bliss that seeks only to fulfill itself.
Because once we embrace the “other” within ourselves, who was undeserving of our love, we’ll no longer estrange the other before our eyes.
I have a dream that we will awake to the truth that the gifts which are hidden in our souls, cannot be found on the surface but only through our healing.
That in healing ourselves, we discover a magic that we wish to spread to those who bear the same wounds.
I have a dream that all will stop dreaming of who they wish to be but accept the glory of their wholeness and with the freedom that ensues will grow into more than they ever imagined.
I have a dream that we will awake to the power of love that lays within, awaiting our return home.