Look closer within in 2018.

I’m leaving 2017 behind with a renewed inspiration that we simply need to “look closer within” to find the answers or purpose that we seek. But one will not find new details with the same conditioned eyes and mind that can no longer reveal a novel truth about who we are. We must think outside the box of expectations of how we insist that we ought to be. My friends there’s nothing new to see, feel or be within the confines of the labels that keep us seeking worth in external measures. Rather, let’s look closer at the unexpressed part of ourselves because this is where our human creativity and purpose remains unfulfilled. It’s in this place where we seldom look that our gifts lay neglected in the forgotten aspects of our being.

Be seen.

What do you feel that others do not know about how you experience life? This is not simply an incident or a specific experience but which part of your essence remains unknown to many? Now, consider how does the feeling that swells in your heart from being this unseen version of yourself exit your body and connect to others so your soul can feel fully seen and understood? How do you express or satisfy the emotions that arise from being connected to this “unseen” part of yourself. This my friends is the gift that makes you feel alive and most like yourself. It’s the missing and distant essence that we can feel deep within but cannot seem to experience within the box of expectations that we’ve cocooned ourselves in. It’s often difficult to fathom that the self expression that emanates from this version of ourselves are “gifts” since we don’t spend enough time admiring this aspect of ourselves. These gifts seems too simple, so we may keep searching far and wide to become or do something greater to make us feel that we matter. We’ve forgotten that connecting to the hearts of others is how we leave our impact on the world. Perhaps we do not believe that world will be changed by the human story that comes from the creative application of our “unseen” self. But this is the very expression that also allows others who feel as we do to also feel seen. All of humanity is longing to be seen for who they are but many of us unintentionally lose ourselves as cater to how we long to be seen through the eyes of others (parents, teachers, peers, coaches). But this I know for sure, that we do not discover true joy and purpose until we embrace and fulfill the expression of our “unseen” self. We may climb mountains and accumulate every earthly accolade but one will not feel complete without purposefully expressing their authentic self.

Keep it simple: make it real.

I believe that as we move into the new year, the most meaningful task for many of us is to foremost identify this unseen part of ourselves and the mode of self expression that best emotes this aspect of our essence. It will require surrendering to the old ideas about ourselves but be assured that our vision becomes clearer when we reconnect with our missing part(s). I believe that incorporating our unique self expression into our passions, pursuits and daily living enables us to discover greater creative potential for abundance and fulfillment. For myself, what is often unknown about me is the emotional intensify in which I experience life, in other words ‘I think in emotions’. Stuttering severely as a child, I imagine that I became very aware and connected to my feelings because I couldn’t verbally express them as I wanted to. I cradled my emotions with curiosity and would eventually learn that unless others were hiding their feelings, most people didn’t seem to feel in the same magnitude as I did. The longer I sat with my feelings, the easier it was to string them into words that expressed the crispness of my joy, sadness or anger. Often,I cannot get the words out fast enough when I’m steeped in my emotions and this form of emotional writing or poetry is actually my truest connection to myself. Yet, I’ve not been indulging in this type of writing because I too was searching too far and wide to fulfill my passion for personal transformation and growth. But I believe that human transformation grows from how well we can invite others to feel our desired emotional objective. This requires us to utilize the gift of that creative self expression, which effortlessly captures how we experience life.

In 2018, I will be incorporating this aspect of my authenticity in an exciting new personal development project. It seems scarier that anything that I’ve done, which is why I know that it’s the path I must embrace. Friends, follow the lightness in your heart, it’s your soul feeling free to be its unlimited self. Stop complicating the process, the answers would not be hidden in a place where we could not find them.  First, we must become deeply connected to the feeling that you wish to impart on others through our creative efforts. Unsurprisingly, it’s the unique gifts of our “unseen” self that will enable you to convey this emotion to others. Atlas, our impact is created through the emotional human connection with others that our unique self expression fosters. Being yourself is not difficult so keep it simple and embrace all that you are. The is the beginning point from which your endless possibilities grows.

 

Honoring our bodies’ need for grace.

Whenever I have felt as though I was working against the grain, it usually meant that I was pushing against my body’s need for a time out. It may seem counter-intuitive to interrupt one’s full force momentum with periodic moments of rest but recovery is a crucial aspect of optimal performance. Our bodies are always intuitively communicating what our soul needs to enhance our experience of joy, peace and subsequently maximize our efficacy. Therefore giving ourselves grace from the hurried pace of life may optimize our creative potential in the long run. I believe that constantly working within the pace of internal resistance may be counter productive over time because it diminishes the passion within our efforts. I’ve learned that giving myself the grace from the expectation mindset and honoring what my soul is calling for often yields greater inspiration and creativity.

Give in to your higher self.

Essentially, it is the highest version of ourselves, which possesses the creative potential to efficiently navigate our situations and challenges that signals our bodies for periodic grace. Therefore, pushing through our need for recovery is like working without the most qualified version of ourselves and we may expend greater amount of energy and effort because we are working against ourselves. For example, a couple weeks ago, I was struggling to convey my thoughts in the article “What maybe keeping you from discovering your higher purpose” due to the abstract nature of that subject matter. Transferring what resonated as clear concepts in my mind into simple and coherent words and style became increasingly difficult. I initially ignored my body’s signal for a break because I was intent on not wasting the remaining allotted writing time for that evening. I’ve discovered that we truly cannot resist ourselve for our accord, therefore it’s helpful to identify the external expectations that makes one afraid to slow down. I recognized that my forced attempt was out of alignment with my core truth of unconditional self acceptance upon realizing  that I was nervous about not having an article to post within an expected timeframe. Being out of alignment kept me stuck in the fearful “problem” mindset and diminished my creative inspiration for resolving my writer’s block. When I finally decided to take a break, the article practically wrote itself as I was having a shower and I ended up scrambling to document what is personally one of my most meaningful pieces. Basically, the part of myself that understood how to phrase the complexity of that topic was exhausted; rather, my highest self needed to engage in a more relaxing activity to release my tense creative energy . Had I persisted to struggle in my writer’s block, I may not have expressed myself as succinctly as I was able to after taking a break.

Less can be more.

After taking a break, it took me about a quarter of the time that I had already invested in drafting that article to completely finish writing it . We gain clarity about a certain process after giving our soul what it needs regain inner peace. Thus, our bodies signal the energetic shift that is required to rejuvenate the most inspired aspect of ourselves.  For example, if you’re naturally a free spirit, your body may often seek grace in the form of play but for myself being more contemplative by nature, my soul was craving a space to think without distraction or pressure. Giving ourselves permission to be the most joyful authentic version of ourselves through rest then allows us to bring that feeling into completing our required task at hand. Resuming our endeavors with a more favorable emotional energy may lead to being more persistent and motivated and we may often accomplish more than we previously anticipated. I am often in awe of my husband’s ability to work for many uninterrupted hours creating his reclaimed wood art after allowing himself to indulge in nap after work. It’s as though giving ourselves grace subsequently allows us to be fully onboard with the required task at hand going forward. While pushing against ourselves is akin to trying to concentrate with a needy toddler constantly nagging for our attention. We may still get the work done but the process may be more interrupted and the outcome less productive.

Resiliency encompasses being good to ourselves especially in the long run. Thus, it’s important to establish a balance of when to go hard and when to take it easy so we do not diminish our passion and burn out. The field that lays fallow will yield more fertile harvest in the season to follow. It’s okay to give ourselves grace to recover because the most inspired version of ourselves needs this shift to become more creative.

“Recover your innocence, for she is an endless well of wisdom” .–I. Anana

I’ve always had an innate desire to make sense of everything but when I saw life from my ego, I directed my inquiry outward instead of understanding myself. But the answers that guide our personal journey reside with our authentic understanding/alignment with our highest self, therefore deciphering others is like writing the wrong test during an exam. We must know ourselves beyond our ego’s expectations in order to gain the true wisdom for our lives. After years of supposedly knowing it all, it was when I began seeing life through the lens of innocence that I discovered the wisdom and passion laying dormant in my consciousness. In what felt like an ordinary moment earlier this year, during my own sullen experience of misalignment, I briefly mourned the eventual loss of my angel’s innocence pondering the day that she too will shed her innate knowing that she is already enough. The sadness that followed that moment was the catalyst for my spiritual awakening and self rediscovery. I now understand that I was actually being inspired through divine intervention to mourn the loss of my own innocence and to rescue her from the fog of my ego mind.

You must mourn the loss of your innocence and commission a search party for her return. Put out her missing posters and knock on the doors of those who still remember her. Let them tell of how she was bold or gracious, knew what she wanted and went after it without fear. They will remind you that her imagination bore the greatest fantasies, she was full of curiosity, love and zeal. She sprinkled beauty and kindness everywhere she went and lifted the spirits of all those around her. Let them recall how she galloped with pride in her being and spoke her mind freely without doubt. Let your heart be moved by her legacy and weep that she has been buried alive. And as a loving parent who wouldn’t rest until the safe return of their missing child, you must find the courage to recover her. Fight for her in every waking moment of your day, knowing that when you choose to see life though the lens of love, you are one with your true and highest self.

“We are never lost, only disconnected”.–Ini Anana

“We do not need to be saved, only to awaken”–Ini Anana

My divine message a couple weeks ago was  “I AM INFINITE” and my reflections highlight that we lose ourselves by trying to define ourselves. Defining ourselves by external standards simplifies our identity to a binary of meeting our expectation (aka we succeed in being who we “think” we are) or not meeting our expectation and feeling at a loss of ourselves. This creates an internal hierarchy of worthiness within us of either feeling “less than” or being “good enough” Thus we become disconnected from ourselves by having a stronger attachment to chasing the expectations that will make us feel worthy before the judgement of others. We feel lost because of the wild goose chase of hunting for the next external thing that will bolster our worth. Ironically most people interpret this feeling as an indication that something is missing in them or in their life but this is our innate compass alarming us that we are running away from ourselves to our expectations. We figure that if just have a bigger house, loose more weight, have a better job, find a partner that we’ll feel better.

But without healing our attachment to the expectations of who we “think” we are, we cannot love ourselves and there remains infinite ways to feel unworthy even after we get the next best thing. Slight injunctions like impatience with my son or negative feedback were enough to dethrone me from my previous identification with perfection, inciting an internal sense of inadequacy. Detaching our joy from all expectations allows us to accept and forgive ourselves under all circumstances, which expands our self awareness. Subsequently, we feel empowered to make choices that support our growth instead of reacting to feel worthy before other people’s opinions. We cannot be “defined” by any measure, because we cannot own or always possess any “label” in this life. We are simply our ability to love because when we love, we are intentional and transcend all circumstances. Equating ourselves with any expectations places our power outside of ourselves, and there can be no joy in living such a life.

You are courageous and already have all the answers to fulfilling your highest life purpose for abundance if you look within and begin to ponder who you are within all the external distractions

Implications of Disciplining with Compassion.

The back to school season always reminds me how the scholastic hopes that we have for our children impacts our parenting choices because education remains a gateway to success. In the past,  moulding my son for success admittedly led to expecting him to be perfect lest he succumb to poor choices or judgement. Subsequently, I interpreted my son’s misbehavior as threatening  his prospects of living the good life and erroneously adopted excessive discipline measures with the hopes of training  him to “make better choices”. My ongoing practice of self awareness and unconditional love over the last eight months has taught me that our children’s capacity for success in the ‘long run’ actually depends on the relationship that they are having with themselves. Their ability to be compassionate, self forgiving and graceful with themselves during challenges will impact their ability to remain motivated, passionate and resilient over their lifetime. With so much content to cover on this topic, I will likely write another installment to address a subsidiary topic of giving our maturing children the freedom to follow their unique path to self re-discovery. I will not be able to thoroughly discuss the intricate relationship between self acceptance and the law of attraction as well as manifestation. So I will simply highlight that if we were attracting the external displays of how we want to be perceived then more of us would be manifesting a greater magnitude of abundance, purpose and fulfillment in our lives. After years of using a punitive approach to discipline, I now advocate for more compassionate measures to guidance and correction not only because of the positive results it has produced in our children but because I finally understand that even in our wisdom, without self compassion we remain entitled, unaware and dis-empowered.  

Act with Compassion.

Parents send many implicit messages to children about how they are worthy of love and I believe that how we treat our children models how they come to treat themselves. Therefore, how we respond to their wrongdoings sets an important precedence for their own internal response/dialogue with themselves during their personal mistakes, failures and set backs. Disciplining choices that lack compassion disconnect children from their internal sense of self compassion during the moments that they have disappointed themselves or others. Compassionate discipline choices will vary according to each incident but in my practice I’ve found its beneficial not extend our dialogue/frustration into the past incidents or projecting the current issue as a reflection of their potential to behave differently in the future. This models to children the importance to focusing on the factors that we can control, which is the always the present moment. We all know that consuming our energy with what we cannot control does not enhance our self efficacy. When we begin extrapolating beyond the pertinent occasion then we can begin to implicitly create shame in children. Personally, being a product of the old school mindset of shaming bad behaviors to prevent their recurrence, I wholeheartedly attest that we have little success in learning from and transforming any personal conditions that we are ashamed of. Rather, shame undermines self agency because it leads to projecting blame to other factors and making choices to regain social approval instead of correcting our mistakes. It’s also important to avoid self negating statements that equate the child with a behavior. For example instead of “you are not a good listener” try “I need you to listen more carefully” and provide the rationale as it pertains to the situation.  I believe that disciplining without compassion is ‘one’of the ways we come to perceive that people will “love” us only when we are perfect and thus become afraid of failure and pursuing our authentic goals as adults. Sustaining contentment and success in the very long run requires accepting ourselves as worthy in spite of our imperfect outcomes and each moment where a child misbehaves is an opportunity to teach them how to overcome failure without fear, guilt or shame. Essentially when children can feel worthy despite their transgressions then we are freeing them from caring what others think of them when they would otherwise fear not being good enough, which is the true secret to sustained growth and success.  

Perfection Doesn’t Exist.

IMG_0662

A majority of the parenting advice that I read in the past primarily focused on adapting the parent-child relationship or on how to change our children. However, I’ve discovered that we must first enhance the relationship that we are having with ourselves in order to improve the dynamic with our children. That’s because the relationship we are having with ourselves is the only one that exists and we simply project the expectations that we have of ourselves onto everyone else, including our children. If you are like I was in the past, I was often in a relationship with perfection instead of myself. Our attachment to perfection leads to feeling inadequate or unworthy if we believe that others will judge the imperfections in some aspect of our lives. Therefore, we are expecting our children to be perfect human beings because we see them as an extension of ourselves. I often resorted to non-compassionate disciplining choices because those were my only measures for responding to myself for making mistakes. The way I scolded my son for his mistakes reflected the manner that I criticized  and treated myself for messing up amidst the perceptions of others. Our desire to prove to others that we are good enough heightens our frustrations to any act of imperfection but excessively punishing ourselves and our children to preserve an image for others is truly deserting ourselves  in the worst way. Improving my own self acceptance and releasing the need for perfection had made it possible to respond our children’s behaviors in the same compassionate context that I relate to myself. A majority of our children’s ‘misconduct‘ and behaviors are normal developmental curiosities as they are experiencing every stage of their development for the first time and will naturally explore the full scope of their being and self boundaries. For example, my one year daughter currently puts everything in her mouth during this stage of her development. She doesn’t care if the object is food or paper, yet it would not be reasonable to react as to one of her paper eating episodes as  though she ought to be a perfect one year old and know better. It’s possible to approach every stage of our children’s growth in this compassionate manner if we abandon the expectation of perfection and nurture a more loving relationship with ourselves. Interestingly, every parent is striving to teach their child(ren) not to be influenced by the opinions of others, but without self compassion for their imperfection, children may develop a stronger propensity to seek admiration and validation in their social relationships. Admittedly, many of us were raised in the exact same manner that we are parenting our children to mould us into better people than our folks, yet by in large we turned out pretty much the same, so it’s worth breaking the cycle. 

Changing The Success Story .

FullSizeRender (63).jpg

 The consciousness of success is slowly evolving beyond the old model of commencing adulthood motivated to prove ourselves, only to become stuck or complacent in unfulfilling arenas twenty years later. The externally driven approach to success is not sustainable over one’s life time, therefore we must equip children with the self compassion necessary to continue challenging themselves to explore their full potential. Without self compassion, we may complete our post secondary education, get a decent paying 9 to 5 job, own a house etc. But we need to embrace unconditional self acceptance and grace to experience inner peace, make empowered decisions in our personals lives and nurture a positive mental dialogue, which encourages us to explore our inspirations. Our generation minimized that value of the relationship that we are having with ourselves while putting on a good front to the world. It’s now obvious that our degree of self-love impacts every life decision and subsequently shapes the progression of our personal lives. Without self acceptance, we resign to making choices that help us to feel loved and accepted by others. Hence our initial success platform as young adults may simply reflect the conditioned need to be approved and validated by our friends, family, public etc. With time, it becomes less desirable to continue expending excessive efforts in endeavors that don’t authentically fulfill us. Yet, without self compassion, we may remain both afraid of failure and lack the passion necessary to support exploring continual personal growth. Parenting with compassion allows children to internalize their worth as being greater than even the most damaging outcome. Such self grace is what will allow them to detach their happiness from the outcome of their efforts and remain curious about expanding their creativity and potential. More so,  nurturing children to be compassionate to themselves unconditionally enables them to make empowered choices especially when their expectations aren’t met. Essentially self compassion, is the key to sustained happiness because it allows us to feel worthy and accept ourselves amidst our changing circumstances. Positive psychology studies have shown that happier people make an average $600-700K more money over their life time, live longer and are more fulfilled in their relationships (1). When we are happy with ourselves, we tend to make choices from a framework of self expansion, while choices that stem from a feeling of unworthiness are geared at seeking approval and simply appeasing our discontent. The new face of success in the coming generations will continue to be that of creative entrepreneurship, which is primarily motivated by passion and self evolution. The greatest gift we can give our children is modeling the self compassion and awareness that compliments evolving their creativity, growth and potential.

Remaining compassionate when we are triggered by our children’s actions is undoubtedly difficult but we must imagine that if we react excessively from frustration, those responses will likely become the choices that they will also choose for themselves. Rather when our choices always align with love then we avoid the inconsistency of swinging between anger to guilt, which limits our effectiveness. If we teach our children to always feel worthy in themselves then we can rest assured that they will be able to take make empowered choices that support their success and fulfillment. Life will never be perfect, therefore expecting perfection of our children may not afford them with the skills and confidence to gracefully overcome challenges without fear. Rather, when we model self compassion, we teach children not to be ashamed of their mistakes but to forgive their errors and take responsibility for their actions. A child that feels worthy at all times is better able to make positive choices and are less likely to be limited by their imperfect circumstances or the judgement of others. 

(1) Information adapted from Rob Mack, happiness coach, speaker and author.  Interviewed on Earn Your Happy podcast. Aired August 25, 2017

INI ANANA IS AN ASPIRING LIFE AND SELF DEVELOPMENT COACH IN EDMONTON, AB. LIKE STEEPING JOY ON FACEBOOK  FOR MORE SELF DEVELOPMENT INSIGHTS.

 

“To Fly, We Have to Have Resistance”–Maya Lin

A few days ago, a fellow blogger that I follow on here posted a quote that I believe provides a perfect analogy for the magnitude of continual growth that we must be “willing” to consistently embrace in order to succeed. Undoubtedly, our emotional state is the greatest motivation or limitation to our success, because our emotions create our drive and foster the mental dialogue that inspires our decisions and choices. I believe the greatest road block for many of us is recognizing that we must adopt new habits and behaviours to “sustain” a positive emotional outlook. Hence success is essentially the consistent practice of emotional mindfulness, where passion is basically unconditional contentment during various circumstances. To become unlimited in our pursuits, we must first experience contentment unlimitedly in order to conceive the greatest amount of possibilities as desirable prospects. Because I love a good analogy, here is my personal interpretation of this inspirational quote: Continue reading

On Overcoming Self Doubt And Blogging.

At some point in our lives, we may all confront the challenge of overcoming self doubt while pursuing a goal or project. Doubt often manifests unexpectedly and slowly taints the excitement for our plans and as our passion begins to wane, the crippling fear of failure sets in. Wrestling with self doubt hinders our focus and direction, causing our confidence to steadily decline even if we have invested considerable effort and adequate preparation to ensure our competence. The helplessness from doubt may lead some of us to abandon our goals, while others can regain their motivation and persevere. I personally overcame many moments of doubt while preparing to launch my blog and I discovered first hand why the first step of any journey is often regarded as most difficult to take. Reflecting upon my own personal experience, I believe that doubt does not have to sabotage our efforts but can be a normal pathway to solidifying our passion to succeed.

What is doubt.

Doubt is rooted in our innate human drive for social belonging, which leads us to unconsciously appraise our actions according to socially endorsed values. Even as we possess unique individual motivations for pursuing various goals, the desired outcome of our aim is social acceptance and consumption of the products of our talents. Subsequently, we predict our success by the magnitude that others embrace and validate our endeavours, qualifying their approval and support as a condition of our achievement. Our inability to forecast how others will endorse our pursuits manifests in a fear that they may not embrace our talents, which we define as failure. Even if we are confident in our abilities, we may still doubt our potential success because we cannot predict if others will also perceive us as competent. My sentiments of self doubt manifested as my blog’s launch date drew closer and I began to anticipate the response from the public. As we start to visualize our desired outcome, we suddenly find ourselves wavering between the excitement that others will endorse our efforts and the fear that we may be rejected. I discovered that the following practices were useful in diminishing my sense of self doubt.

  1. Redefine success: passion is your best currency.

I believe that biggest trap for self doubt is defining our success by “measured outcomes” that depend on how others assess of our efforts due to it’s potential to undermine our passion. If others do not validate our performance in the ‘magnitude’ that we expect, we become doubtful, which may distract us from improving our craft. However, maintaining the intensity of our passion will gradually yield measured success because passion boosts confidence, determination and creativity. If anticipating the outcome of our endeavours causes doubt, we should deliberately refocus our thoughts on the positive ‘rationales’ for our pursuit. This is an exercise that rejuvenates the excitement for our goal, enhances our passion and motivates us to move forward. The impact of shifting our focus towards our desire is akin to the analogy of pouring a greater amount of clean water into a small amount of cloudy water, where the overall gradient changes in favour of the clean water. When I experienced doubt prior to launching my blog, I intentionally counteracted each fearful thought with three supporting sentiments for blogging; focusing on my motives shifted my attention in favour of my goal and mobilized me into action. I recommend continuously engaging in the details/art of your craft such that you remain focused on what is enjoyable and positive about your efforts, whereby joy is the best remedy for doubt. Depleting the excitement for our undertaking is a magnet for doubt and the absolute killer of success. Many people are pursuing endeavours with diminished passion and enjoyment because they are chasing measured success and remain perplexed that they aren’t achieving it. It is passion that enables us to invest the hard work necessary to succeed and helps us to remain possibility focused when we confront set backs.

SJ contact 3

I correlated the importance of passion with success because I blog through inspiration; my ideas are the only platform of my pursuit and passion is the source that my thoughts stem from. I do not utilize any numerical standards as a basis of my success because this could potentially undermine my ambition and subsequently my ability to generate the very substance of my blog. I define my success only by my continued creative potential and interestingly, as I become more passionate, I discover greater insight and awareness for my posts. Therefore, it’s beneficial to ‘initially’ focus less on traditional measurements of success to lessen doubt and boost our passion/performance.

  1. Success doesn’t imply perfection.

Our expectation is an important predictor of self doubt because it determines how we respond to the elements that are out of our control. One will experience greater sentiments of doubt if they expect their pursuit to proceed perfectly because they may prematurely misinterpret a setback as failure. Rather, if we expect that success is a growth process, we will remain hopeful of our potential and anticipate that we have room for improvement. The assumption that any task will unfold seamlessly leads us to become insecure if perfection does not manifest and our declining confidence incites doubtfulness. More so, it is the expectation of perfection that causes us to presume that unfavourable incidents will impede our overall outcome, an assumption that heightens our fear of failure. This is because perfection implies that there is only one potential outcome for each event, causing us to feel defeated if things do not go as we hoped. I personally fought the temptation of foreshadowing the worst-case scenario a few days before launching my blog, when an entire set of blog pictures were erased from my camera. It would have been easy to misinterpret this mishap as a reason to doubt the caliber of my scheduled posts, but I distracted myself by writing and completed another shoot the following day.  Accepting that a given process will have peaks and valleys strengthens our resolve to persevere beyond the difficulties that we encounter along the way. More so, challenges typically offer insights and lessons that we can use to enhance our subsequent attempts.

DSC_0264

A critical component of relinquishing perfection is recognizing that we will naturally have phases where we become doubtful and experience reduced passion. We must anticipate this as a normal aspect of our journey so it does not entirely discourage us to give up. If we shouldn’t expect the process to be perfect, then we cannot expect perfection of ourselves. However as my parents always cautioned “it’s not whether a bird lands on a tree but if it builds a nest”.  I do not recommend lingering in a demotivated state, rather we should muster the drive to persevere by investing our energy in activities that deepen our passion. Another beneficial practice that lessened my moments of doubt was drawing on my support system for encouragement.

Success is not a one person show.

No one is an island, therefore we must draw on the assets of others who are rooting for our success, where in my case blogging has blossomed into a family affair. Our limited perspective about certain aspects of our goal contributes to self doubt and our support system can be a great litmus to gauge reservations that we are unable to independently rationalize. When I encounter uncertainties about any component of my blog, I have difficulty “thinking it out” on my own but I’m able to get a better grasp of the issue after discussing my ideas/thoughts with my family. I am constantly picking my family’s brain about topics, pictures and their personal experience, where their honest feedback helps to refine my clarity and confidence. If your reservations stem from a lack of expertise, then invest in research and learning opportunities and seek out positive and willing mentors that can guide you. Even the critical opinions of those  we trust can also lessen our sense of doubt by allowing us to gain a broader perspective in a reassuring context. Hence, embrace vulnerability with your support system by being open and honest about the nature of your doubt, so they can offer the neutrality that you need to rationalize your worries. I am also grateful for my family’s support during those moments when I need motivation to believe in the value of my undertaking.

We often doubt our efforts because we are our own worst critics and it’s valuable to have people around us who strive to build you up when you’re knocking ourselves down. We can never get too many pep talks and the encouragement from my husband and children always seem to jolt my passion for blogging when I’m feeling demotivated. The encouraging words of others highlight the positive aspects of our efforts when we are erroneously too focused on what’s amiss. Ironically, my family typically conveys the same constructive sentiments to me that I have offered them on other occasions, proving that we can benefit from the perspective of others even if we already possess the same awareness. We must be grateful to those who love us enough to support us, reinforcing our faith in the good that we are doing. As we are lifted by the encouragement of others, it highlights the value of reciprocating this positivity to others in their time of demotivation.

FullSizeRender (23)

I hope that these recommendations will be useful to you as you encounter inevitable moments of doubt while pursuing your goal. If you have committed the dedication to leap into your venture, then you must continually strive to believe in the beauty of your efforts/goal because this is the only worthy measurement of your success. Subsequently, the most decisive determinant of one’s success and deterrent of doubt is the rationale for pursuing your goals. I believe that we only succeed in those projects that we pursue out of passion and love. It is highly unlikely to prosper in an undertaking that you are doing solely to please others, for money or out of fear.

Check out  Steeping Joy on Facebook to read more of my thoughts on utilizing emotional mindfulness as an asset to manifesting your desires.

Which other principles have helped you to overcome self doubt? What recommendation would you add to this list?

XO

Ini Anana

“Steeping joy, brewed with all that life has to offer”